HeadOverHeels

2010-01-29T17:39:00.002+08:00

Evry night before i shut my eyes , i hope not to meet ue in that world..
Even, For evry time i shut my eyes , be it in the day or night , I pray to let ue go off from the other world ,
to stop bothering me...
Evry time i wake up , I do not want to think abt ue..
Ue have made me feel different...
ue made me feel weak..
Ue made me think that this love is just sick...
Ue r not supposed to be here with me...
It is sick to look at ue...
It is sick to even listen ur name..
I am not sick because of hatred..
But I am sick for i let ue enter my life..
Without anyone noeing , particularly me...el guilty...
It seems to ruin that friendship that we have built before...
I miss the bond..
I miss the happiness..
I miss evrytg that we both did during our friendship days...
Ue dun belong here in my heart..
Bt ue belong to someone else..
I noe for evrytg that i m gg to do , I will nvr get ue here...
I will owaes tear for ue evryday...
Ue killed me! Ue killed my soul!
What is happening?
I feel bad,I feel guilty...
I have nvr felt this wae?
Is this what love means...
I can't hold my tears back again!
Evry single dae...
Whenever i look at ue , It owaes tear me..
I m trying to be me infront of ue but i feel that there's ntg that i can do but to tell myself that 'I HATE UE IN MY LOVE LIFE!'
but it doesn't seem to help..
It onlii helps to make me teared n makes me love ue more!
Maeb i should stop it..
N maeb i should just let myself go from this..
Im sorry but i realii miss ue loads..
I have been meeting ue evry single dae..
Evry single time in the other world..
Wish Ue Can listen to my heartbeat..
For it keeps calling for ur name..
Hope this is not love...
My heart beats Onlii for ue..
Goodbye!
Come back onlii as a fren..

realii?

2010-01-14T00:25:00.003+08:00

How is wish ue know what i m gg thru...
Onlii dreams will bring us to see each other...
grr

2010-01-13T19:33:00.002+08:00

Truthfully,when it comes to think of reality,it hurts...
The reason we have to face this reality now makes us sick..
Hoping tt we do not need to face it...
Better to Live onlii with fantasy...
Altho it will somehow hurt us too...
but it's the best wae than hurting ourselves in reality...
For we can't escape from it..
Hw i wish i can just live with fantasy rather than reality...
Sobs..

2010-01-12T01:47:00.001+08:00

I wish he will do so...
owaes, now ,then n in the future...
please...
will ue do so?

Oh boy!

2010-01-10T13:23:00.002+08:00

It's been weeks since we last met...
It's been weeks since we last have a proper talk...
It's been weeks since we last feel love towards each other...
It's been hard for the both of us...
Indeed..I am sorry for the all the mistakes i have done towards ue..
Ue have been a great guy..
Thinking of ue whole dae long will drive me crazy...
Ue have been loyal...Ue r owaes afraid of losing..
Sometimes i tot i dun deserve ue at all..
But i dun understand the reason i can't leave ue...
No matter how much i am hurt,i tend to be patient...
We lack in understanding n trust...
To love you for near to 2 years 8 mths have not been ez...
To have myself in ur life when ue r still being haunted by ur past...
I will never want to let go of all my sacrifices n patience for you that i have put in for ue all these while..
Oh boy!imy!damn much...
hope to meet ue soon..
n I m sorry for evrytg...
I am afraid of losing ue n I m afraid of loving ue more...
I am fraid to continue this relationship if it will hurt us both..
blaming each other n no understanding n trust...
no matter how long t will take or how much i have to bear,
need time to think n ease my mind...
to think of evrything carefully..
but if ue ever finds the right time to tok n meet up,tt'll be better...
i'll be right here waiting for you!
I am sick of making the first move cos i dun even noe whether ue r tinking of me...

a long post!

2010-01-10T12:52:00.000+08:00

Uh hum!
back blogging again finally..
anywae been thinking that this would be the wae for me to pour out my feelings..
But before i even said out abt my feelings,i would like to just give a short posts for 2 of my friends...

Ajan,
It will be hard for ue...
To be living ur life now without ur dad...
It's been 18 years of ur life that ue have spent with him...
No matter how he is during his lifetime,he has been ur dad...
being with ue thruout ur 18 years of life...
Now that he is gone for good,he would definitely wants ue n ur siblings to tc of ur mom...
To be a good son n brother to all ur siblings...
Praying for him is the least that ue can do...
Life have to move on...
Be strong!
No matter how sad i am for ue,i wun be showing it..
I shall sae that i wouldn't want to see any1 of us or ue crying,
for i will shed tears n that will make matter worse...
N thus ajan,i believe ue r strong n ue will take care of urself n the family..
be good n always pray for ur dad's soul...
sendg my condolesence to ur fam n ue...
May god bless ur dad's soul!aamiin!

Zura,
Right...ppl may think this post will be rather unnecessary...
but i guess it does for ue...
When ajan is losing his dad,ue on the other hand is losing ur lovely pet...
Ur cat had benn with ue thruout ur 14 years of life...
altho i have been so phobia towards ur cat n others too,
to look at tit 2 days ago was rather sad...
It makes me down,can't deny...
To have my fat hamster died after onli 1 year plus with us gone..
was a bad one..
what is with ue losing her which have been with ue for 14 years...
whatever it is,be strong...
if ue r sad,so will she...
treasure those memories...

Ouhk...done!it is rather saddening to lose someone or stg precious...
be it forever or not...
so do not bloody compare...
Next,NEVER JUDGE ME!
i repeat,Do not judge me just like that!
I smiled i laughed doesn't mean im fine...
To look at my friends downs have nvr crossed my mind...
No matter how down i m,i have to put on a tough front isn't it?
so yar...indeed do not judge me!
Life has not been great for most of us...
To lose those we love the most...
As i have mentioned earler,whether or not it he or she is leaving us forever,it does make an impact...
I do no want to show that i m down..
As one saes,Someone hu laughs,smiled n crazy always,
are the one hu bears the pains without ppl noeing...
I wish i m strong,iwish i can be as per normal..
I wish ppl can read me...
but no!once it is hidden,no1 will noe....
the pains i bear is rather invisible...
How should i react when love makes a great impact on our life?

Right after some time,this is the post i have been wanting to put up..
n which cuzzie have been waiting for..soriie yeah..
internet was down a few daes ago,to be precised..

301209
Kamal n aishah's solemnisation dae...
hey guys!hope ue guys will pull thru all ups and downs together...
smuga kekal dmpi ke akhir hayat...
sbar dan terus bersbr...

"sudahlah lau org tknk kwn ngn ko lagy kak...kwn bole carik"quoted from mom's speech..
lost of words when mom said that='(...

missing someone badly...seriously aku sial!
tp what to do....i will definitely throw this feeling out soon..
it's been daes i dreamt abt ue...
n y must it b ue...?ue belong to someone..but this is so different...feel like crying!

2010-01-04T01:46:00.002+08:00

without us realising,
2009 has come to an end...
A new year which all of us have been looking forward to is here..
It's been a bad 2009...
We pull through those days with pains n sufferings...
Hoping onlii for the best but it is yet to come...
As for this year,most wished to have a better days ahead...
Love,Pains,Suffers,Heartaches
Everything that have been bothering all my sweethearts..
Forget about it ouhk?
Goodbye 2009,Goodbye memories,Goodbye Pains..
N let's welcome 2010..!
Welcome happiness,Joy,Prosperity,Wealth,Good Health n everything!=))

Right..that's it for the new year wish...
uh-hum!uh-hum!
ppl im back updating my blog...haha...
Countdown was not supposed to be awesome isn't it?
For those hu noe,ue noe i noe huh?
Kicked off the year with pains,heartaches...
Without Love,without him..
Putting everything wrongly on that night...
uh-huh!shall not speak up on anytg for i can't rmmbr a sgl thing..
it hurts too much...
you,you n you!
Not a happy new year huh?*winks*
n for those hu have been there for me,thanks alot for taking care of me...
it's been sick...realii sick..

Next,especially to my peeps( terutama sekali IQAH)
ue guys have been there for me...
through my ups n downs...
thicks n thins..
pulling me up when i fall..
n ue all did realised stg on that nyt...
It's been the truth..
It's been hard to face it...
It's been terribly emotional...
It's been critically disturbed my mind till this verii dae...
I felt bad...
And i felt like settling down...
I dun want to be hurt...
I do not wish to fall for any1 ever again except for NAJIB...
It's kinda weird...
N when i sai im settling down,i m pretty sure ue all understand huh?haha!
IQAH KO PTT PHM K?
hees...im not gg to jump into a conclusion..
he's been great!he's been loyal!He's someone whom i should be with..
He's some1 hum i should bring with till death..
But i noe it's too young but yet again,if ue gurls realised i've been wanting someone hum cnnt give full love,care evrytg except for NAJIB!
it's been hard tinking abt separation,abt what i did to him...
In a way,najib has been controlling me..
Maybe for my own good n that shows me evrytg abt him...
but on the other hand,it hurts me..
we both hurt each other...
so what do i sae if 1 dae this year,i make a decision to have him partially officially mine?
indeed i will still need to tink abt it..
i shan't deny i love him fully...
but im still young...
so yar...it's been really tough...
should i settle down for i dun wish to be hurt again?

If onlii he understands, trusts me , evrytg will be fine...
If onlii he dun live with his past='(

Friends,Family,Bf
They are my loves now n always...
They shall stay in my heart no matter what is to happen...
n i wun choose btwn these 3...
I LOVE UE ALL EVRY BIT OF MY LIFE1

Happy belated birthday

2009-10-21T17:08:00.006+08:00

I guessed it is really time for me to update my blog..haha...
n iqah..here we go...
My dear october babies..

A really happy belated birthday to all the 3 of you...
Iqah n Kalyisah turned 18 n Hairil turned 25...(his pic was taken last year)
wishing you all the best in whatever you guys r doing...
go for what you want...
have fun in life!n may ue success in whatever you r doing...
loves...

also to all my other friends...
Hanisah:6 October
Adib:9 October
Ashikin:10 October
Edna:15 October
Rosli:17 October
A happy belated birthday to you too=))

n there will be another retarded close friend of mine birthday soon too..
haha...
an idiot who tends to come out of her mom's womb 5 hours after me..
hehe..=))
i will post abt you when the day come...=))

2009-10-01T13:31:00.001+08:00

first n foremost,
im sorry..but i have got tons of pix to b uploaded...
but i seems to have a not so good mood...
n hell yeah...
plus lazy..hehee...
anywae,rayer with cvss peeps was definitely awesome!!!

n2 results is out...
n i onlii manage to get onlii 3 gpa pts...wtf!?
most of my frens get a higher gpa points...
congrts to them...=)
new module,hopefully better lessons...=))

2009-09-29T13:09:00.003+08:00

Right..i just realise a thing...
planning things wasn't ez..
we should not put high hopes on it...
Because maeb some plans r not meant to work out...

2009-09-28T14:00:00.003+08:00

Finally Monday,the start of a new week...
and i mean a realii busy week...
1st n foremost,rayer outing with friends strt this week...
tuesday - cvss mates
wednesday - maeb out with boncet(?)
thursday - ite mates
friday - maeb out with na students of cvss
saturday - boon lay peeps..
so yeah...look at tt...
tt schedule realii makes me feel scared...
all because of being tired...

btw,to Whom it may concern,
to those idiots who tried to backoff at a last minute...
pleasee do not make us treat ue invisibly next tym when tere is rayer outing...
i dun care hu ue r,what ue r,how ue feel..
we tried hard to plan sthg and
we just need your simple cooperation..
if ue can't do it,back off!
tell ue guys sthg,i m not gg to give a fuck shit of what ue gona feel...
try me!hate me?then f off!

organising sthg realii is hard i swear...
ite,cvss exp outing...
we will join hand to make evrytg goes smoothly..
pls3 cooperate..simple!

AND SEPTEMBER WILL END PRETTY SOON...
SEE HOW FAST TIME FLIES PAST..
AND3
OCTOBER,A MONTH I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR...
*winks*

2009-09-24T10:46:00.012+08:00

Two3.Zero9.Zero9
It seems to be the best monthsary with hym...
altho it turns out not to be soo 'special'..
but indeed we spent our time well..
there will only one thing that i shall conclude abt yestersdae...
Awesome And Loved!
I simply don't know how many tyms he keeps telling me that he loves me..
sweet of ue bie..haha..
keas luhh..tknk mushy2 lagy...haha...

Oryt..was doing blog hopping as usual...
And started of with GFs blogs...
that was went i was reading iqah's blog...
n i tink,i shall make a wishlist too..
cool ehk...walaupun aku nyer maseh jao n tak maser rayer...Yeah!

There r plans...
Pit?i guess...
But will evryone turn up?=(
shall try cause hubby said tt will be fine...
grr...stick to it..
n i shall make a pit near to nabira's..haha!!so the setan...

So siaper2 yg nak likan aku b'dae present,
tgk luhh sini kann..haha..
Tapii tkya blikann ponn tkp...Ingat b'dae aku ponn da bgs=)))

1)I swear i dunnoe y but i still wants this...irrits kann...

2)Mcm gerek gitu nmpk org adr niie...aku ponn nak uhh...haha..tapii nakk HAPPY BIRTHDAY nyer...hehe

3)nakk bag yg ley bt sling n side knn..yg lembotnyerr uhh..come noes wht i mean...haha!

4)slipper ( these caught my eyes )

5) long tube dress yg ley alter..phm2 uhh ehk..haha

6) shoe

7) tanktops

And2 i want some tee-shirts,skirts and bottoms please...
byk jgk ehk benda2 yg aku nakk..
hehe=))

monthsary

2009-09-23T13:47:00.002+08:00

A happy 30th Monthsary to My Love....
30 Months = 2 Years 6 Months
It seems long but that doesn't determine anytg...
As one sae love is long lasting...
n as such i hope for it...
let's hold our hands tightly n not let it go...
we will owaes be one...
I love ue hubby!

blog is finally oryt!

2009-09-22T19:40:00.003+08:00

Dear friends ,fam members n saper2 yg mengenali kami sekeluarga...
Selamat hari rayer aidilfitri...
mohon maaf zahir dan batin...
slm syg dr kami sekeluarger...

Miracle...
I finally get to update my blog...
Y??
because finally i get to upload my pix...
i swear i wanted to upload my makeover photos bt it is too big...
n i m too lazy to resize it..some tym later aites...??
haha!anywae,waiting for pix from both my uncles...
as in rayer photos...
n to dear iqah..look at my fucking fringe...haha!!

I swear this year rayer was awful...
people r bz with work and school...
while others have no mood for rayer...
as we grow older,the mood for rayer is different..
na s for those young ones...
make use of of all the rayer daes ue spent...

schedule:
3rd oct: Boon Lay rayer outing
10th oct: Fernvale rayer outing
1st oct: Sec sch(NA)/ite mates rayer outing(?)

Still need update from sec sch(NA),Exp rayer outing n ite mates...
yoohoo can't wait!!=))

2009-08-19T18:48:00.000+08:00

There's a lot to be shared...
a lot to complaint...i dunnoe how i should feel...
erm..indeed,i m happy with those hu r there with me...
they r those hu will owaes stay in my heart...
n for those idiots,i un give it a damn...

dear bro,
i really hope ue can read this post...
i m soo upset for ur chnge...
i miss the old ue...

2009-08-10T18:28:00.000+08:00

This is really awful...
til this verii second,moment,day i can't post pix..
n darn..i want to share gfs meeting pix...
nvm..i will still wait for the moment..
upload still upload oryt?

N national day!
im not supposed to go out for the day..
due to the kenduri arwah n puaser tt was being held at my hse...
bt darn...
i want to go out too...
so i did it right aftr maghrib...
yess!!!first thing in my mind to go to Woodland..
bt i tink i'll be too late..
im sorry..
n so i met fernvale at ct hall..
i was soo scared tt the first thing in my mind when i rch the station...
was to get out of the station before any of bf fren caught me..
as tey r on duty...
n yess...aku da kener tngkp ponn..
baek uhh..aku takk lng dier seyy..
so we quarreled...again!thx ehk...
anywae...
i dunnoe how my daes had past..it seems bad...
but it seems good too..
i dunnoe=(

080809

2009-08-08T23:50:00.000+08:00

A dae spent with gfs..
superb awesome...
especially towards the tym when we have to go off..darn!
quarrel with bf..
but it's my fault i guess...
haha
anywae,will be updating abt todae's outing when pix r up...
so to ITAH,SHA N AIDA pls upload the hundreds pix tt we took..
haha!

bf...
im sorry..i dun mean to b tis stubborn...
ily!

n yess..
n i dunnoe y we still cn't even look at each othr...
i tot we wud be frens?
as per normal?
but it dun turn out to be one...
maeb we still cn't...
ouh hell yeah...imy!

2009-08-07T19:35:00.000+08:00

When on earth will i start posting?
hees!actually..i've been waiting for the tym when i cn upload pix...
anywae,eventually,i guess it doesn't worth waiting...
there's loads to b updated...hehe

First n foremost..
PPL2!!PLEASE2 WATCH G.I JOE!
ue wun regret at all..2 words,SUPERB AWESOME!
haha!

National day celebration in sch is superb boring...
i have no idea y i came...
8 am to 10 am?what the hell!?
haha!

right...finally went to school for perfectly a week...
and it is supposingly a great week too...hees...
right...next week,OFC CA..woah!
m i prepared?shall we see when the result is out?
hahaha!

And to dearest bf..
it was amazing with ue for this few weeks or months..
ue noe n ue realised tt we have been perfectly well...
no quarrels or whtsoeva...
it's been weird,we both noe...
n yes ue makes me feel loved more...

And to whom it may concern...
i miss ue...
i wonder whether ue undrstnd wht i feel...
i wonder how ue are right now...
but whtever it is,for i noe,ue r still haunting be...
ohh god...ue r killing me deep inside...
i m trying to cover it up...
so as not to open up a new chpter over again...
wht i need now is a tok with ue...
i owaes have been waiting for ue to b online...
imy!

n GFS...
Tomorrow will be perfectly awesome day for us all...
waiting for it...

2009-08-02T00:44:00.003+08:00

Goodbye July!
August here we come...
How fast have tym fly past...
Without me realising,it's been 8 mths now this year..
It'll be soon new year...grr...

Happenings in august:
9 august:HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE!
21 august:a fren's birthday(hehe)
22 august:Ramadhan(m i right?i tot it was 20)
23 august:25th Month anni
anythg else amiss?
ouh right..
14 n 15 august:Pit for boon lay peeps

N what i need now
wht i want is
to be with my hubby for a night again...torn luhh deyy..
gathering with fernvale peeps...
outing with them too..
MONEY3!please....

N yess....
To a friend of mine...
ue im soo sorry...i realii want to come for the launching of ur album..
indeed i've been looking forward for it...
first n foremost to give my support..
n it's been years since i last met ue...
oh god!Y did ibu pick tht date for kenduri..
But i'll try my best..
i wish to come...Im sorry...

2009-08-01T15:37:00.003+08:00

Excuse me people..
Im bored to death..
Cn't ue see im bored??
grr...will be out onlii later?
wer?to watch fireworks...
luckily hubby will be accompanyg miie..
lau tk,tk dpt tgk seii mangkok...
9 august adr kenduri...waduh!
tak bole kua...WARNING!
hehe...maha mendakk..
n mendakk jgk uhh sbb tkd duet skrg..
pokai giler...hehe...
anywae..will be updating soon..
more events coming up..
more money to be used up...huhu!

2009-08-01T00:50:00.002+08:00

Ue have been my strength.joy,tears,hope..
indeed ue r my everythg..
there's nuting tt i want except for ue..
indeed,i have owaes wake up
praying hard tt we will owaes be fine...
I onli hope to shed tears of joy...
N yess...altho there r some obsatacles tt we have to go thru,
it has never stop our journey..
ue knew my patience...
ue knew my tolerance...
ue knew my sacrifices...
ue knew everythg tt has not stop me from loving ue...
n will our love bring til eternity??
hopefully it does...cos i really wants too...

For the first time ever,
his mum had sthg quite good...
erm..wht is it?
engagement...
im not prepared,so r ue...
we do mentally..but we're not financially..
we both have lots of things to be settle...
i noe ue want too..n me too...
but i want evrytg to go smoothly so tht there will be nuting tt anyone will regret...
ilysm!
n i have been waiting for the moment..
simpan duit oryt?
before mom bising lagy..
hehe...

N to gfs..
hopefully i can make it tml..
miss ue girls...
n pls brush off all ur probs...
live life to the fullest..
love ya all..

2009-07-30T01:18:00.002+08:00

I MiSS You!

WHO?

YOUUUUU!!!!!!
YOUUUUU!!!!!
EVERYONE!!!

haha...omg!
it's 126am n yet im still wide awake..
cm'on leha...
ue have to get to sleep...
before pl start nagg at ue...haha!
oryt2..see ue arnd peeps!

2009-07-29T11:29:00.000+08:00

It is really irritating when this stupid blog do not allow us to upload pix...
so people...it will be rather dull..
anywae,hopefully everytg will be baq as per normal soon...
oryt...i swear this wud be rather dull..
but if ue dislike it,then spam off...
im not asking ue to read either*winks*

Currently at home again..grr...
been daes since i last spent my daes at home sweet home...
practically shocking as i din go out at all..
oh god,n headache is still tere..
i wonder what is the cause for all these..damn!

but2,ytd,indeed.FINALLY
i did went to slack for a lil while with frnvle peeps...
oh man...missing them soo much...
altho it is just for a while,it meant alot to miie...
oryt.it's all because i've been spending too much tym with hubby..
hope tt i can make it for the outing this upcoming saturday...
grr..pshal tkd org ajak..haha!
anerkann tdk tkt2 aku bz..
hees..
anywae,GFs i need a miting..
let's not tink abt all the probs tt we r facing..
exams r coming..
focus...
Meetup will be a great break=))

MISS alot of humans tho..

when being unwell is to stay at home

2009-07-28T15:24:00.000+08:00

I am practically still unwell...
It's been daes and this headache had killed me enuf...
Maeb i need to get baq to consult the doctor again...
N I've been missing lots of classes...
I need help...hopefully classmates will help...I need help soo much..
exam's arnd the corner..
I need to pass eventhough i had never intend to be promoted to higher nitec...
Anywae quit job..2 obs are pending...got it but maeb wil be taking it up during hols...
But rayer tym...grr..anywae..
btw,WTH hell is happening to this blog?
i intend to post a pic up but cn't..dammit!
Anywae,been daes since i last met boncet...
missing hym soo much..
Missing school..
Missing GFs...
Missing ITE mates soo much...
And been wasting lots of money on bloody useless consultation...

2009-07-26T14:18:00.000+08:00

Everything had been really fine these daes...
Finally,dpt lepaskan rindu kat my fam...
N i just realised tt i onlii attend school 1 dae plus another dae for the class bonding.
damn!n now,i guess im down with fever again...
bad headache...sobs!
missing hubby soo much...
n yess...weekends have been spent with boon lay peeps..hehe..
thank ue zura sbb tmnkn gue...haha!syg kamu banget2 siik..
but indeed i have lots of things tt happened too actualii..
it wun be great if i were to write evrytg down here...boriing...
n TODAY liverpool vs singapore...m i right peepes?
adik gg so njoy urself bro!=))

N A HaPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO ITAH!
smoga dpnjngkan umo dmurahkan rezki dan diberkati allah selalu...
insya'allah..aamiinn...
N May ue success in evrytg tt ue do n may all ur wishes come true...
ILY babe..
n sorry...birthday present pending...

N A HAPPY 28th anniversary habby gemok...
i noe we love each other...altho mom have been the problem of all..
n we will both help each other in proving her tt wht she tinks abt miie is rong...
ILY alot..n no matter how bad a situation may be,i PROMISED ue tt i wun leave ue..
We both need each other...
n please dun make this as a temporary relationship..
cos evrytym we fought,there is onlii two words tt came out from ur mouth,BREAK UP!
n tt isn't wht i want...
ue knew ue regret..n so pls dun do it again...
ILYSM hubby!

2009-07-22T09:06:00.002+08:00

down with fever n flu...
i wish i am unwell all the time...
bf ue treated extremely different yesterday...
haha...ue knew i sacrificed alot despite all the shits we had gone thru..
but ur mom is the problem to all..
i might be boyanese but i am not like what she tinks i m...
yes indeed i was down...
hello!saper bole accept...
i noe too early tt she has not been accepting me now and then..grr...
anywae,as ue said,we take it slow..
n ue knew too how my family is like...

n with 3 daes mc means i'll be bored...
but will come to school on thursday if possible if im well enuf...
will onlii start werk on sunday..yes uhh!!
n yess i tot of quitting werk tp mcm syg gitu...
haha...
i noe bf will help miie out but tkd confident dong...
zura,ue shuld undrstnd..=))

n to 1 of my long lost fren,
imy!n i hope to chat with ue soon...=))
hope ue r doing well...
owaes tot of ue....hoping ue wuld call or sthg..hehe...

n2 BF!
imy!
TOMORROW is our BIG dae...
N for itah too!!

2009-07-19T00:06:00.002+08:00

Yapsaeyo!!
hey peeps..it's been somr tym since i last updated my blog..
haha..
anywae,been bz...
werk,school,werk,school...
my routine for the tym being...
missg family soo much...
sedih seii...sometyms feel like cryg thinkg of them at werk..
asal luhh aku emo nahh?
haha..
anywae werk is practically great=))

n2 4 more daes to 23 July 2009..
will be MASHITAH's 18th birthday n 28th monthsary..

But indeed it won't be soo much fun...
i dunnoe y but evry tym when it is near to our monthsary,
there will surely sthg tt we will quarrel abt..
dammit!
undrstnd miie n i'll undrstnd ue too..
asshole!ue r being too much...grr!

n TOMORROW!!
BURSARY here i come..hehe

2009-07-14T23:51:00.002+08:00

Sometyms things doesn't happen like how we wnt it to be..
hehe...
1st dae of werk n came 5 mins late...
get a scolding..yaya!
nxt,big size uniform..hello!im supposed to wear XS and not M...
grr...my job scope is ticketing...phew...
but indeed there are alot to be learn next..
n werking with aunty sux big tym..
wth!??nakk step aner nyer besar nak mengaja org..grr...
anywae,get over n done with..
hehe....'training' will just be for the meantym..
once im used to it,evrytg will be fine...
bear with it saleha...
anywae,i tot tt the place r beong conquered b more aunty2 than young teenage...
but instead there lots n lots of them..
young ones...grr...im one of them...
n most are made up of malay..hehe...tkp..gerek..
altho we r in different section...
anywae,it's tiring,bored...
i swear it's not a difficult nor ez job..
figure it out yourself..
n the image of hubby,mom,da,n adik kip flashing in my eyes...
i miss them lots..
sobs!!!
that's all for todae peeps...
tml school!!n stupid physio..damn!
n i want to meet love!!
sobs...

2009-07-14T12:22:00.000+08:00

Yapsaeyo!

currently in class...bored..

moody...

sthng is rong with me sumwer theses daes...

not in a good mood tho...

i realised it..

anywae i dun giv it a damn...

it will heal soon...

for someone,believe me...

im not someone whom ue tink i m...

My future is nt dark...

i will make it bright...insya'allah...

being here in ite have not made me tink tt i screwed up my life...

so yeah,ue better open up ur eyes on me...

haha!

i m sure to let ue see who i m in the future...

maeb i m lyk wht ue tink...

but i m sure it wun be that bad..mark my words...

i noe how i wana build my future...=)

look up for yours first bro...

haha

2009-07-13T23:36:00.002+08:00

Yapsaeyo!
VIVO-ing todae...again as usual..
but indeed,spent quite a lot on arcade..haha
erm..tt was rather surprising...i dun like arcade isn't it?hees..
but a stupid game makes miie stuck with it..hees..
watched Ice age 3 again but in 3d this tym round...
hees...not much difference i swear..
but2 there was some 'scene' tt happened in the cinema...
haha...fights between patrons??haha!bullshits realii..
anywae..good dae,great fun,tiring dae,quite a bad dae too...
not feeling good...
pay had not been credited..AGAIN!!aarghx!
tomorrow strt werk..thnk goodness..
hubby ask miie out for drinks on saturday..I WANT IT!
but indeed if i need to werk,a simple good bye to it..
lau tk ponn,tawn uhh ue..haha
Itah get a job in gv..congrats babe...
aku yg duer kali apply tk dpt..
n i miss lots of things now...
head spinning,tired n not realii in a good mood..
but is till have the mood...
besok mcm mls nakk gi skola!
haha..

2009-07-13T00:12:00.003+08:00

Yapsaeyo!
Najib is soo undecisive..
verii verii verii...
dunnoe wht to eat,wht to do,wer to go n dunnoe wht to buy...
haha!!damn ue we waste alot of tym...
haha!!
in the end,caught a movie...
went around bugis..
soriie uhh ue...
todae used quite a sum of ur money..hees...
my tym will to treat will definitely come...
IMY loads...

NO SHITS , NO FIGHTS!!
NO QUARRELS TT IS WHT I WANT..
smile3...mae we owaes be this wae..

2009-07-11T21:55:00.002+08:00

Yapsaeyo!
Ice Age 3 is superb hilarious...
cute,a lil bit boring but AWESOME!
watch it peeps...
anywae,thx to aunt for treating me n bro..hees..
missed fireworks for todae but nvm...

Pay has not been credited...
Damn it!!
please3...tell miie the latest is mondae....
need $$$...grr....

Next week,
start work(yess uhh!!)
CAs(dammit!!)
bursary(here i come!!)

debab..looking forward to meet ue tml..
i miss ue terribly..
n i dun mind watching the movie over again..=))
hees...

n to my fren,
realii great to chat with ue again..
i swear been waiting for this moment...
been a while since we last chat...
missed ue tapii takot dong nakk ckp...
owaes hope nue will start a convo..bt it semms ue dun..
grr...malunyer..=))

2009-07-10T17:53:00.003+08:00

When Ups are just for a moment...
n when we have to face downs now and again..
When Love isn't perfect...
When Life isn't perfect...
When evrytg turns simply wrong in a glimpse of an eye,
Stress will kills us all!
But yet,
When we are facing the downs,
there are something tht will definitely
makes us feel fine..

A short meeting with gfs...
3 hrs but yet we still have lots of fun..
A source of my happiness...
never fail to make miie laugh...
a bunch of ppl i love!!

Indeed i have lots of other loved ones
they are those who have been my happy pills...
Family,Till death do us apart,ILY N IMY all!
Fernvale Legacy,IMY guys!
Bishan GFs,ILY loads!
Boon Lay Peepos,Nice Noeing Ue Guys!
Bf,never failed to make miie smile and teared!

2009-07-09T18:22:00.002+08:00

Yapsaeyo!
today have been absolutely perfect and great..
school is great...
and2 thx darling for your 'invention'..
it's rather random yet teacher tends to like it...
heehee..
tak sia2...
credits to zura for the sketch and shima for the presentation..
haha!
and2...CA next week..assignments finally done!!
2 MONTHS TO EXAM AND RAYER!
NEXT MONTH FASTING MONTH!!( puaser dok! )
and 8 MORE MONTHS AND GRAD!! ( per lamer!! )

and now, missing hubby soo much...grr...damn ouhk..

2009-07-05T23:57:00.002+08:00

Goodbye holidays!!
Welcome Baq school!!

i will definitely be busy...
tons of project works..
searching for job,hopefully i get it..
simply evrytg...
n yes!!!
I WILL RECEIVE MY BURSARY!!
YOOHOO!!

n will be miising zamir for 10 daes...
endure it dude..
ue will do fine...take care..
wil surely be missing ue botak!!
tkcr in camp=))

2009-07-04T00:16:00.003+08:00

I have never tot tt i will tink of blogging first ti=hing when i rch home..
haha!awesome2 dae!

first n foremost,eversince NEL is being launched,
i swear tt this is the first tym i stepped or rather went to chinatown statn[?]
or maeb i did long2 ago..
anywae,was supposed to go to the court for my dear cuzzie's case..
like of course im so 'jakon' when i stepped in the court...
i went 'WOW!sha..gerek per aku dpt g court."
n hell yeah,,she laughed at my reaction..damn!!
n oso a dae when i met my my long lost uncle n small cuzzies...missg them lots..
n looking at afai being handcuffed was realii saddening..
bt alhamdulillah dier dpt probation...
adik..dun do anytg stupid again ouhk?
Welcome home n been missg ue for 3 weeks..
n sha,forget abt wht ur mom said...haha!

Was supposed to go for an interview but im late...
will go on mon..
anywae,spend the dae with my love...
thx dear for gg al the wae to town...
n2 aku luper luhh seii maner wisma(PECAH SAK AKU!)
haha...
shared a few stuffs abt our past...
n2 ue..
I LOVE UE LOADS NO MATTER WHT IS TO HAPPEN!
sweet kann?
ue r my friend,my sweetheart n my evrytg..
haha...

2 more daes to School..grr...

N to itah..thnk ue love for the post..
ily loads!
thnk ue for being tere for miie...
tt same goes to all my gfs too=)
especially zura!
meet3!!
hees..

2009-07-01T23:52:00.003+08:00

Cry!Cry!Cry!
I wonder whether ue r soo heartless...
m i being with someone hu is so heartless..?
I am not running after ur money...
I am here with ue still for the love tt we have built for the past 27+ mths.
This isn't a joke..
I am not like ur exs..
Ue broke ur promises...
N now im too stressed...
N ue aren't here with miie when im down..
Ue r all happy out tere..
Yes we r still as one..
but do ue feel anytg btwn us now n then?
Wer r ue when i need ue?
Ue r so heartless boy!
realii m!!
aarghx!='(
M i suppose to change?Or do we both need to change?
If i ain't good for ue n not being like her,
Ue ain't good enuf too...
would anyone be glad to be the first one hr bf threw vulgarities at?
to be controlled..
to listen to all his instructins now n then..
suffer the pain...
been pouring loods o tears for ue?
n it all happens because of HER??
n I AM NOT HER!
WE AIN'T THE SAME!
n yet im not giving up...
i still do have my patience...
oh boy..please change='(

2009-07-01T15:19:00.003+08:00

We shouldn't have met
We shouldn't have cntct each other
We shouldn't just noe each other!
damn ue...
sungguh bertuah aku dpt mataer mcm ko...
baek punyer!!*clapsclaps*
anywae bkn ko srg jekk yg tau maki n mrh ouhk?
aku ponn manusia jgk..
aku jekk yg bt ko mrh...beh ko??Takk pena?

At this tym,this moment n this verii second
IM BORED TO DEATH!
tinking of wht to do..AARGX!

Random msgs:

Hym:kalau ko syg aku,balik skrg.
Me:aku tkle alik.aku da lng ibu aku alik lmbt.aku nk g mkn.N IF UE TINK UE STILL NEED ME,LOVE ME N IM STILL UR PRIORITY,I WAN UE TO B HM BY 11 N TOK TO ME SINCE UE REALII LOVE PLAYING E PC GAME..CAL ME WHEN UE R HM..(believe it or not,i said tt..yoohoo!n no replies!damn shit)

A FEELING OF NOT BEING APPRECIATED!!

n2 nga ddk2 psl bored kann...
i just realised sthg..
haha...
sha n iqah's phne num begins with 935
while mine n zura begins with 948..
cool keper?
haha..jakon sakk aku...
anywae,ts is wht happen when im bored.

2009-06-30T14:10:00.002+08:00

Random quiz done in facebook...
Onlii update those have good answers..haha!

What colour is MY heart?

White is the symbol of Purity and Innocence. Truth of the matter is; you are a nice person, people love you because they know what they can expect. White also represents intelligence thus you must be quite a smart individual. (chey...hatiku sungguh suci babes)

What colour is my life?
You are a very mellow, down-to-earth, stable person and others see you as a source of reliability. You enjoy being outdoors—there is just something about being in nature that makes you feel really at ease with the rest of the world. You are a down to earth, stable person.

Just because you are responsible does not mean you are boring, in fact, you have a lot of individualistic style and flair. You find yourself delved in creative projects of all sorts and appreciate aesthetics.

ouhk peeps..im soriie for both quizzes have 2 do wif colours...anywae,r tey right?to those hu noe miie,maeb ue guys will noe wheher it's true or not..haha!!

cheers ppl!!=))
smile smile smile=))

2009-06-30T14:05:00.003+08:00

Where the hell have i been??
haha!!
hey frens...i've been out lately n wun rch hm by 12...
lazy n no time to update...
bedek sakk...actualii i have tym b yess,laziness!!

Anywae,we'll update more keas???
DUN MISS ME!!
haha!!
out to werk...haha!!!

p.s life is full of ups n downs..

2009-06-26T13:50:00.002+08:00

Ue askd for a hug
when i teared
n ue whispered,
telling miie to find another guy if i can't understand ue..

When i tried to chnge,
There will surely be sthg else tt makes ue hate miie..
Should i be perfect for ue?
When Ue have not yet determine to miie tt ue love miie either..
M i a t fault owaes?
Y must i owaes give in?
N PLEASE DUN COMPARE MIIE WITH UR EX!!
I AM ME N SHE IS SHE!!
get it??
ue dunnoe how much im hurt cis from now onwards ue wouldn't want to care...
i will..
n i promise not to b a burden to ue..
i will NEVER use ur money again='(
ue dunnoe how shocked i m when ue brought up this matter..
n i will repay ue baq emotionally since ue said im hurting ue loads..
N hell yeah...
I tot of leaving ue...
bt i just couldn't do it...

Patience will owaes be in miie...

2009-06-22T13:13:00.002+08:00

YESS...a promise to ue MD NAJIB...
if we ever get separated,
as I've promised,
UE WILL REGRET LOSING ME WHEN UE TINK BAQ TT I LOVE UE TOO DEEPLY!
find miie a girl hu can endure ue...
n ue wun turn baq n regret havg miie with ue all this while...

2009-06-21T16:22:00.003+08:00

i like myself in this pix..haha!

went out early in the morning..
haha..gfs nyerr psl tau...
tgk mcmaner syg nyerr aku kt krg..haha!!

then out with bf n frens to town...
it was so 'awesome' for they play pc game for 3 bloody hours...
bt im soo lucky tt cha brought her cute little niece who have been my accompaniment for 3 hours..grr...
gerek jgk ehk skaly skaler jager bdk kecik..hehe=)
n our motive was to celebrate bf belated b'dae...
soriie uhh im the first one to smash tt cake on your face..
haha!!

*n to those hu have been wonderg y it had been quite some tym sice i went online..i had been out till late night n at tyms im too lazy..so yeah peepos...for those hu have my num,do text miie up..n for those hu dun,been missg chattg with ue guys..hees=)

2009-06-19T16:36:00.005+08:00

Wassup!!haha!!
im finally baq blogging...lyf had been great n bad too...
grr...
HOLIDAYS R FINALLY HERE!but yet 1 week has past=(

updates abt life:

been great with debab love
been bz with assignments
hav a class pit recently
celebrated debab's birthday!(cupcakes plans r cncelled)
quite upside with aunt's attitude(damn her!)
looking forward for more outings!
hoping to be owaes happy with love
missing gfs soo much..
n yeah..todae celebrating FATHER'S DAE!

Specially for my lil bro cum kuzen..
im sorry for i have not been there for ue last fridae...
kak nurul hav called miie up but i wasn't arnd..but it's lucky we went online..
adik..i dunnoe how ue r in there...
i noe ue hav chnged altho it's too late..it's really saddening to hear tis frm ur sis...
she hav been cryg evrydae...n payg a visit for ue...
adik...we all love ue...we will wait till ue go out...
adik...kak nurul hav been lonely without ue...
n i noe how she felt...i noe ue hav chnged for the better..
ue r the hero in us...ue have the guts to face all these...
ue noe ue r rong n ue r prepared to face the consequences...
not like those cowards hu plead guilty despite their faults..
i believe tis is a lesson for ue to learn...
adik!!WE ALL MISS UE N WE R LOOKING FORWARD FOR UR RETURN HOME!
setiap manusia tak dpt lari dr membuat kesilapan...
take tis as a lesson n chnged aites...cian kak nurul...adik berdua cumer adr each otha jekk..
adik do noe no matter how ue r n wht ue have gone thru,ue will owaes be here in our heart..
n ue r owaes welcome baq..!!
heck care with what ppl wana sae..

n to aishah...im soriie over wht i've done..
n hell yeah..we will wait for rafi's return..
we all love him like shit..ue r strong enuf to face tis..
i noe ue have been lonely...im sure he have chnged...
ILY loads cuz..let's pray hard for ur bro..='(

N to DEBAB LOVE...
i hope the best in us...
i would owaes want us to be happy like we do now...
ily hubby!!MUACKS!
im sick of getting hurt...

right..will update soon..
got lotsa of things to be updated...

see ue arnd...
toodles!!

Help Me!!

2009-06-09T21:32:00.004+08:00

People2 help miie!!
Which one should i buy for debab?
I need it by Sunday..
I love the 4 Man-u cupcakes n it's worth $25..
above it is oso cupcakes...
but it came in 9 cupcakes n worth $25!!
Tag miie ppl!!
give miie idea which one to buy..grr...

2009-06-08T22:26:00.002+08:00

You Have Been The Reason I Smile..
But yet it's just for the meanwhile..

Please3..I need a job..
really hope tt i get tt job..prayg hard..
n to my dear GFs,
i really m soriie for the inconvenience caused i made for our outing tis fridae...
I WANT TO GO SENTOSA!!
I WANT TO MEET MY DEARS!!
but2 fridae n saturdae are his off daes...
grr...Aku tknk bsrkn mataer ehk..
i will make it happen!tryg2 ppl=)

last sundae is an outing with dear bf..
awesome at first...
but yess it turns out to be realii awful in the middle of our meeting..
he gets mad over money..
is he havg his period or sthg??(grr)
anywae,he made miie cried..
was hurt ouhk?
tt 10 bucks was meant for ur b'dae n ue scolded miie..
thx seii..
but2..
I M MISSING HYM BADLY NOW!

2009-06-07T01:00:00.003+08:00

*Yawnz*
current mood:sleepy..haha..
but shall just update a lil abt todae aites..

first n foremost,
a post for my dear gf,shasha...
ue have done realii well for ur audition..
altho ue have not been selected for the next round,
for what we n ue noe,ue have put in ur verii best...
there's owaes another chance..
this os never the end...
n2 UE WILL OWAES BE OUR IDOL BABE=))

next,
went out with debab love todae...
Fuck hym upside down ehk...
he sold off his phone n i have no bloody idea how to cntct hym next..
but he will get a new phne by nxt week*phew*
n the thing tt realii touhes miie is..
abt the KEYCHAIN!!
he realii love it..he keeps meddling with it n asking miie to keep it safely..
hehe..=))love ue luhh syg..hehe=))
but looking at ue,im afraid tt all this will just be temporary..
but i still do love ue...
ur b'dae present cn't be a PLASMA TV N A PS3 damn!!*laughing*

his image kips playing in my mind..
kips tinking of hym whenever im alone..
i want to meet hym..iwish to tok to hym again for i mis hym alot..
I WILL,I WILL MOVE ON..
for he's moving on..='(

2009-06-05T15:55:00.002+08:00

1 way 2 says 3 words 4 you
I LOVE YOU..

Finally2,polo tee xs is in stock..haha..
right...was bloghopping when i read someone's blog..
if ue reading this blog,wishing ue all the best n last long with her..*tryg to move on*
n daes passed quite ouhk for debab have been fine with me..
i will gain back ur love n pls gain bck my love...
im still hurt n im still afraid...
ouhkeas2...
zura,thnk ue for accompanyg miie n spend an hour at cotton on just now..
but we left with only a piece of top..haha!
ouhkeas...
GFS..A MEETUP IS NEEDED!
N for those who are auditioning for s'pore idol tml,
GOODLUCK PEEPOS!=))
*i will come down if it's possible*

2009-06-04T16:09:00.002+08:00

may we owaes be together..thru ups n downs like our names do...<3

got this for myself n debab...
find the keychain pretty cool...
try to turn ur pc upside down...haha!which i dunnoe how ue'll do it=))ue'll see that the 1 keychain is made up of two names..

seems pretty bad as im still tinking of ue hu had oready been someone else's..='(

2009-06-03T19:21:00.004+08:00

M.A.R.S.H

the treasure of my heart

there's 1001 sorrows behind our smiles

daes past verii quickly..
tym flies realii fast..
ppl chnged realii quickly...
words of pain were spout out realii easily..
problems were taken easily..
pains were taken lightly...
heart breaks slowly...
heartpains growing bigger slowly...

people..love isn't a matter of words...
open up ur heart n mind over whom ue want to be with...
stop giving other heartpains...
cos it's not worth it..
i believe in karma..
WHAT GOES AROUND,COMES AROUND!

2009-06-01T23:18:00.004+08:00

Goodbye May!Welcome June!
I won't be describing about the month of May..
Whatever tt happens in the month of May will just be memories..
A lesson to Be learnt...
June a new month to be start afresh with..=]

What m i looking forward to in June:
15 June : Debab's birthday..n Father's Day..
28 June : Merishah's Birthday
N N N
HOLIDAY!!

So ppl let what happens in May a memory in our lifetym..
If it hurts or a despair to us,make it a lesson..
If it something really memorable tt makes us happy,treasure the moment..
Let's start afresh in this new month=]
hopefully,i can too..
trying to forget the pains=]

2009-05-28T15:37:00.002+08:00

heya!
wer should i start first??oryt...
begin with yesterdae night...hees...
went to slack with zura n itah at their void deck...
right...i was so fuckd up with debab n adk tmbhkan lagy kemrhan ku..thx ehk...
since i cn't take it,i went out...
at least it helps miie...toked to them over wht happen...
aku selitkann siket uhh ehk..
i dunnoe whether what i did fer hym is worthwhile...
realii..i dun find myself still in his heart..='(
TWO consecutive daes he promised miie to cal...
but he didn't...i dun mind...
wht makes miie so pissed off was tht it seems so hard fer hym to pickup my cal n rply my msgs...
sedih tau takk..
biler dpt cal,wht did i get?
VULGARITIES!!
grr...ouhkeas..n then did chat with zura,itah n iqah over the phone after i get home..
itah n iqah r olso facing probs...
guys2...uurghx...anywae loves..must be strong...
itah...let him go now aites rather than later which will be too hard fer ue..
i realii dun wish to see my loved ones to make a mistake like i do..
never..
i realii m lazy to type in detailed...
so tht's it fer yest..

Today was supposed to meet zura n itah at hg station at 720am...
wtf!?siang giler kann?
but we r afraid we'll be late since we r gg to take the circle line fer the first tym..
n zura ko dtg lmbt chicken!!n aku dtg siang!!
haha..tu ponn bb aku tkley tido..wakaka!
n so we proceed when evryone of us hav rchd...
i swear we r jakon..
especially miie luhh...
haha!!escalator nakk g circle line da luhh lembap...so we walkd...
then the escalator which is gg towards the circle line os slow...
n my dear fren of mine zura went like
"ehk giler per escalator pelan siots"..
haha...i takk bunyi ehk...
i ran n jump on the escalator n it went fast...
n "laju ehh niie escalator!!!"
tu uhh tu pntt ckp after seeing the escalator..
n itah was laughg at our reaction...
n went we rh at the platform i realii went to see evry corner the length of the mrt...
3 cabins onlii n guess it's fixed...
n zura laughd looking at my jakon reaction..
dier step takk jakon...mate rtgk2 evry sgl part of the station..
bacin btol!!
haha!!n2 the train was superb....tp tkd difference with the rest of the othr train actualii..
n2 we rchd bishan at 740...
n part tu tiga2 kecoh..

zura: kecoh ehh!!aru 740!!siang perr!!best uhh mcm niie!!ley angon lmbt!!
itah:aru kol 740 seii!!jom uhh g mac!!*laughs*
me:kiweks!!740 ehk?saleha rch bishan at 740!!woah!slalunyer tym niie aku pat bus sial...*laughs*

kecoh giler luhh seii...
n when hanis went in the classroom...
"wow!!siang per niari ko!!"
thx ehk...i guess i cnnt rch sch early uhh...
aku kann cap dtg lmbt..hehe...
keas uhh..dat's all...tkd mood actualii...
weii org2 di luar yg lom try circle line,try uhh naek!!
haha!!takd beza ponn ngn train laen..hahahaha!!
n aku tak tau naper tu line dpgl circle line..hahahaha!!

anywae tt song ue sent to miie yesterdae is realii meaningful...
verii2...thx fer sharing...

anywae i will act as if my life is perfect from now onwards=))
aku sedih banget dgn evrytg tt happens..
n i cn't tke this any longer=(

2009-05-27T14:25:00.003+08:00

greetings evrybody!
hees...din went sch todae..
plans to go out?not fer now..
not in the mood...
did chat with someone just now...
pdhal kiter bbl bender mepek tp i cried...wtf!?
aku da tak mampu nak buang airmata aku seii..
haiyo..tp i cn't stopit...
aku maseh ader hati kat dier seii..
grr...n2 aku nak upload lagu harapan..
nak dedicate to someone...per bdh..
aku tak tau mcmaner nakk bt..haha!
anywae,went to youtube just now...
n tere's a malaysia vid showing abt tudong malay gals..
malu uhh nakk ckp..
went wtchg the vid,it realii was embarrassing..
y must they do all these?
kann takk manis..
jager adat bkn stkt tutop dr ujong rmbt dr ujong kepaler seii..
lau nakk bt dosa mcm niie,tkya la nak step aek..
bka jekk aurat..
kdg2 kann mereka yg tk braper ttp aurat tu luhh yg lagy mulia..
dun get miie rong...
just because of this,sumer yg ttp aurat sumer kene...
hais...n dun look down on us hu din tutop aurat or wht..
kdg2 kann kiter yg mcm niie lagy mulia..
bkn aper uhh..tapii i pity those yg kene kutok disbbkn tt minority yg tk tau jager diri sendiri..
n the fucking thing is they dun mind their pix is being taken or sthg..
tkmo ckp psl niie uhh ehk..
pakaian n tutor kater n care ponn keneluhh jager jgk...
malu takk terkater..
walaupon kiter yg terbuka niie mmg lagy rbk..
lagy rbk dr drg..tapii kann malu lau kua stkt nak tnjk kann org yg dier ttp jekk..
tapii tutur kater ngn care nauzubillah..
i wun elaborate further...
i just dun feel right if ppl tinks tt yg terttp tu luhh yg aek sdgkann kiter yg terbuka sana sini
yg rabak..
open up ur eyes n heart ppl...
ue cn't just judge the book by its cover..
no offence peepos..
pada mereka yg teraser,kesiankn luhh yg laen yg takk berslh...
tapii keraner krg,mereka ponn dikutok samer...
at tyms im just mad at those hu tinks ppl like miie rof bad company..
noe us well,n ue wil noe hu's better..
n to those hu yg teraser kat saner it's tym to chnge...
insya'allah satu ari nnt ku ponn akn berubah..
bkn stkt dr pakaian..
bkn stkt nak tnk org aku ley ttp dr uong rmbt dr uong kepaler...
tp aku nakk biler aku berubah..
aku berubah sepenohnyer..
n fer now,im still miie..=))

Ouh yar...a fren of mine tell miie this yest..
"we r onlii bad as we drink,clubs n smokes..tt is y ppl owaes categorize us as the bad ones..
bt noe us well,we're not what they tink we r...
time will determine evrytg"
thx fren..i'll rmmbr wht ue sae..
i shouldn't have tot im soo bad...=))
chanchichiows peeps...

2009-05-26T19:36:00.003+08:00

I really wants to beep ue..
i miss ue soo much...
tinking of ue send miie tears..
i regretted noeing ue...
fer i fall fer ue..
fer ue open up my heart..
n in the end,i have to back off..
it reallii hurts..
i dun wish to sae goodbye...
i dun wish us to end this wae but i noe i hav to face reality..
n reality fact is tt we r gg to our own different ways..
i love you still..
i miss ue soo much..
rmmbr how we noe each other?
rmmbr how we owaes look forward to chat with each other?
i cn't forget a sgl thing...
it realii hurts miie lots..
i wish i cn turn baq the tym..='(

todae wenta sch..soo early on tuesday..
cos fer a mth i owaes skipped sw but todae i din..wow!!
n evryone of my classmate congratulate miie..
thx ehk krg...setan tol..haha!!
n so spend the dae in sch...
n when otw to meet zura at cp,did talked with shima abt my bgr probs..
yess shima at tyms i just hope he will one dae later tink of my sacrifices...
my love is too deep..
n i need someone hu i realii2 tinks tt cn replce hym..
i did found someone..but............grr...
n shima..thx love fer all the advise...

let the pix do the toking abt my outing with itah n zura love last sundae...=))

2009-05-25T20:05:00.003+08:00

if onlii how ue noe how i feel...
i wouldn't want to sae goodbye..='(
onlii tears will accompany now...
mark my words...
y must i go thru all these sufferings?
is there any reason tt i have to face all this?
y oh y must all this happen?
i dun wish to leave ue,i swear...
i dun wish to sae tt to ue..
but do ue noe how much im hurt?
do ue noe how hard it is for miie to sae tt?
ue noe sometimes love is rather hurtful..
my love to evryone have never been worthwhile...
erm..ue noe y i cn't leave hym?
sufferings have always been with miie fer 26 mths..
i owaes tot i found someone..
someone better..
but i guess i dun..
i tot of giving myself some tym..
but evrytg's just vanished..
ue just dunnoe how i feel..
till this verii second i still love ue...
dun tink by giving up,evrytg hav been washed awae just lyk tt..
i need time..
maeb a more longer tym='(
WELCOME MEMORIES!!
GOODBYE HOPES!!

*will be updating my outing with loved ones soon..=))

loved ones

2009-05-23T15:55:00.004+08:00

azura..ue have been a greta fren to miie..listen to all my grumbles n probs...ue r owaes tere with miie evrytym i need someone to tok to..ue r with miie thru my ups n dwns..we r a great leasbian,aren't we?hees...n we will owae sbe aites...thx fer evrytg darls...ily lots!ue noe evrytg tt happen in my life n uee still listen to miie despite of my 'stubbornness'..

babe..ue have been a great fren to miie to...ue were oso tere whenever i have a bgr prob..we too shared lots of stuffs...gerl..im owaes tere fer ue...but i cann onlii advise ue onlii..kiter samer2 advise each other n jadi degil ehk...haha!!tkmo sad2 oryt?kiter kann ader...hees!smile babe..n thnk ue=))ily babe!

itah ue have been a great gf too..we too shared lots of stuffs?ue noe y she's a great fren?she owaes guide us thru the right path...she is a great peer...if ue have her as a fre,ue shuld owaes treasure her...ily babe!thnk ue!

yeah n my last n reatrded gf,Shasha...she is a great n strong person..she have endure all her dwns in her lyf..bt despite all this,she manage to laugh n smile..she acted as if nuting happens...n2 i cn't mit her!ue noe y?cos we r full of craps!but tanpa mu,sepi outing kiter..haha!!takk uhh..sbb seme mcm giler..hees...stae stng babe!ily!thx fer evrytg too..

niie org aku tk akn luper!hehe...ayil!!!ku da lamer tk cntct ko kann..tp ku tak luperkann ko tau..hees..aner tak nyer...ue r owaes tere with miie too..ayil...the onlii guy fren hum hav been by my side...but i dunnoe since when,we dun realii cntct each other...tp rindu oii...nak try tok not cntct hym tapii i guess i cn't...grr...ayil da mcm abg aku seii...hees...the fact tt we shares lots of similarities makes us close i gues...n2 we hav nr been serious..even if he said serious thing,i wun believe..tym to get serious!n thx fer evrytg bro!!=))a great bro i have..i realii do appreciate ue...

n to all the six of ue!thnk ue fer evrytg ue al hav done..ue guys have been great to miie...i dun noe how it will b if i ever lost 1 of ue..n wish ue all luck in ur life...stae happy n smiles=))rmmbr sthg,ue guys r owaes close to my heart n wil owaes do...all ur good deeds will nvr be forgotten=))

lots of love,
kechiq=))

2009-05-23T10:06:00.003+08:00

Happy 26 months anniversary debab!!altho we r not in gd terms again on our manthsary,i still rmmbr ue..i dun wish a wish frm ue cos i noe ue wun wish miie..thx najib fer erytg ue hae done...n i really appreciate it if ue undrstnd..i hope we wun tear apart!ily!

2009-05-22T18:30:00.002+08:00

heylo2 peepos..
todae ehk?erm..actuali i did kicked the dae off quite badly..
realii feel like sobbing...
ue noe evrytym i went online or sthg,i owaes hope tt i cn cntct hym or wht uhh...
i dun even noe whether it's a lie or not...
once he did,it's more than enuf..i cn take this no more..
when i online this morning,i cn't believe my eyes reading sthg..
n tt is when it strikes miie to forget hym..
tried to pm hym but i dunnoe y till now..
then text hym up nit ti cntct miie again..
erm..ue nak tau sthg...??
niie have nutg to do with ue nt cntctg miie n stuffs...
tp i guess tt sthg is not ryt...n i dun wish to take the risk of hurting myself further..
ily soo much='(
n i thnk ue fer evrytg ue did..
n hell yeah,i dun wish to tell ue dat but i have to..
if ue reading this,im hoping ue undrstnd tt this has nuting to do with ue nt cntcting miie..
imy soo much but i undrstnd tt ue're tired n stuffs...
but2 just sthg...
n *whoosh*...i dun feel lyk sobbing again altho i did it again..
but realii my phone is owaes switched on fer ue to cntct=))
n daes went by so dull..
so the mendak..
heard stories abt double o yest...
so verii the fun..
i want to go!!
one dae i wil n not underage party..lagy lamer sak leha..!!
grr..
haha...this is wht happen when im stressed..
try gg,it realii destress..but ue will need to take the risk of addiction..
muahaha!!
keas peepos...gtg...wil update again!!=))

2009-05-21T23:22:00.003+08:00

Happy Birthday zura...ue r finally 18!!legal age!!haha..love ue so verii the much...=))

todae start the dae off with school...muahaha!!!
then go bugis with mirah...want find fer her clothes fer her date...
we walk2,tok2 n laugh2...
haha..mirah laugh at evrytg tt i said...
we went ljs first...
eat2 then smoke2...
then go bugis street,search fer her clothes n jobs too...
walk2 fer i dunnoe how long...
still hvn't find yet..
then walk2 again...
aku tk tau braper byk kaly kiter tawaf skaly si pandai niie g kedai yg kiter da pass beribu kali..
haha..bedek sakk beribu..
muahaha..
then2,find her top,,then go round2 again...
this tym round search fer jobs...
steal al those cntcts tt need part timers..
then walk2 again ask those shops which needs part timer..
n mirah dun wan ask..
so this crazy fella hav to ask..
so hyper todae..dunnoe y..
kip making her laugh2...
then b4 gg home,go smoke again...
vending machine infrnt..
buy drink then cm baq to wer we sit..
drain so big yet cn't see...
so wht do ue expect??
i fell luhh!!muahaha...
mirah laughed but she more the stupid...
bought drink,dunnoe how to take the drink..
stupid2...haha...
mak kater laen kaly jgn ketawer kann org pndi...
then home...
eh no2...mit zura love at cp..
she wan go double o...
I WAN GO!!but scared...umo tak lps cb!!!
haha..nvm..slowly2...
my tym will cme...
then she go off...then i go home luhh stupid!!!
haha...i guess this is the craziest post i ever had...
so ppl njoy!!
chiows!!
this is wht happen when im crazy..
mirah..when ue read this post dun laugh2..haha..!!

n to ue both...i dunnoe wht im feeling abt ue guys...
grr...feel like my feelings r being fooled...
but im used to it..
missg ue...

2009-05-19T10:59:00.002+08:00

heyloo peepos!!hehe...
someone have oready complained to miie abt nt updating my blog..hees...
right...actualii hv been waiting fer sthg before i update...
but nvm,wil upload it later...
erm...

150509

first n foremost i would like to announce tt SALEHA WENT TO SCH EVRYDAE FER THE WHOLE WEEK!!*clap!clap!*...=))
hees...as such end sch at 12 but went to accompany my dears fer a smoke break till 1...
waited fer itah too since she's gg baq to my crib first before proceeding to chalet...
n so,rch home at 2plus...n dammit!!i've to rch tere at 4..grr..
but hu cares...
surprisingly our journey takes onlii 30 mins...
huhuhu!!n iqah,ue said 4 but ue rch at 3..haha...
we're not late..phew...but since we r waiting fer our dear sha,we r slightly late...
hehe...took the key frm my uncle n off to our chalet..
woah!!feel so great as m the first one to check in the chalet with my gfs..
haha!!
we tot of doing a surprise b'dae surprise fer zura..haha...
luckily enuf she's cuming late..
in btwn of the tym,ayil came to take the water cooler...
but he managed to sleep fer a while..hees...
the send the cooler n baq to our chalet...haha...
tt was when our b;dae surprise fer zura started...
told my dear zura to cal miie up once she rch pasir ris but she called miie up when she's oready at our chalet block.haha...
so wht do ue expect...
sumer da mcm binatang terlepas dr kandang.
n ayil n aiman r prepared to bash hr upwith the pillows..
once she enter,BOOM!!tt is when the foght started...
haha..realii funy...aiman backoff n it is left with zura n ayil...haha...
vid will up soon...
n2 tk psl2 aku pon kene...pntt btol...grr...
after cuttig the cake n stuffs,ayil left n the tere was aothe war...
grr..n ts tym round im the one hu kene bashed...thx ehk gfs...
haha!!but tey left at 7..while miie zura proceed to simei...
then baq to chalet n linsih,biz n debab came...
watch i dunnoe wht's the title..
n wtf!?..the movie is so the open...
n the guys njoy it totally..
then wenta their chalet after the movie ends...haha...spend the night tere..hees=))

160509

strt the dae off with hakim n ayil making noise at 8 in the morning...grr...
n it's at my chalet...thnx seii...
tey do it to wake evryone up..but one did..
haha!!pdn muker krg...
told biz n debab to move to their chalet...but tey didn't..hehe..
tey cnnt sleep tere due to the noise..
tey onlii make a move at abt 12 pm..
haha...went to simei again fer the 2nd tym..haha..
alone ts tym round.
baq to chalet n clear up stuffs b4 my aunt rch at 4...
then mom rch n strt bbq immediately...
so the heaven...been waiting fer all the food...
n2 ouh yar..shima came with her daughter...
grr...soo cute...kiss her till she cried...she came fer my fam chalet too..
hees...
n ayil n debab too..altho tey came fer a while..
actualii tey dun want to but fam members kip askg abt them n tey cook xtra meals fer them..
tey felt guilty over it especially debab...hees...
he came talked to my parents n stuff n wet fer the bbq...
i went too..
haha...tot of sleeping over at their chalet bt was not allowed..damn!!miss the fun!!

170509

woke up at abt 8am...washup n tot og gg baq home with boon lay peepos since my fam check out in the aftann..
as such,went to their chalet,took my cooler...
tkes quite some tym to check out ouhkeas.
haha!!kecoh2!!
then GOODBYE CHALET!
before gg home,we maage to have our sort of breakfast at bk then arcade...
right in the middle of it,terserempak my uncle n daddy...
n guess what debab tot tey r my frens n tt i gave my num to them..
so wht do ue expect kiter gado uhh...
ku blur sbb setau aku tk umper kw lelaki aku sial..
haha...sedih seii biler dier bt mcm niie..
have a good tok with 1 of his fren abt us...
i cried seii...tk sangke i tmpt dier bls dendam..
lyk what shit sial?first gal to be maki n stuffs..
last words frm them all,his fren,'ct is it worth it?tink it over gal'
n yes till now im still tinking...

n2...
i miss that someone soo much..=(
i feel tt sthg is rong sumwer...
grr....ue,,i miss ue soo verii the much!!

2009-05-14T20:49:00.003+08:00

It is realii sux to wake up early in the morning when it's raining...
hehe...m i right?
i guess it applies to all too right?
right...now m listening to BIDADARI HATIKU...
so in love with this song...
evrytym i listen to this song,it owaes reminds miie of someone..
altho he din sing this song,but i feel like he's the one hu is singing..
hehe...so the merepek...but hope to listen to him singing this song one dae later..
hehe...n2 i keep hearing him callg miie syg...god!!wth!!??
yest tok was rather awful...ue noe tt im hurt listening to evrytg which im not supposed to...
im on the verge of tears but i did cntrl myself...hais...
im not suppose to feel so ouhk??
hehe...=))should be happy fer evrytg...grr..im soo gg to make myself hurt over n over again to forget hym...
sobs...but then it hurts miie more when he called miie one word tt is not meant fer miie...
uurghx!altho i smiled over the phone(crazy),im still hurt tinking abt the fact..
anywae,daes past by realii fast..
haha!!!
can't wait fer tml i swear...CHALET N GFS HERE I COME!!
hehe..im soo gg to release my stress..im not over hym...
n to bf,he has been treating miie ouhk luhh...
but still vulgarities r still being poured to miie..=(
realii i dunnoe how i shud feel now..
ouh yar...wenta cp with mom n aunt to buy aunt's b'dae pressie..
hees...n when otw hm mom keep toking abt bf...
she keeps reminding miie to tc of myself..
as she saw our pix in my wallet(ku luper luhh seii nak bwk wallet kua smlm so dier bongka uh)
anywae she did apologised...
N SHE"S NOT MAD but reminds miie to be careful..
sbb tu gmbr dier pelok aku...chicken betol!!haha..
uurghx..i realii feel like crying upon listening over this..
i sun even noe whether we'll be together till the end..
mom told miie to find someone hu wil bring miie to the right path...
him??he did his best,i swear...i mean it's all up to miie..
im soo confused n hurt over our convo...
ue realii dunnoe how i felt...n i have no choice but to tell ue tt im gg to sleep..
cos i cn't bear to listen further=(..im soriie..
im not supposed to feel this wae,realii..=))

2009-05-13T23:15:00.003+08:00

Dae start with sch as per usual...
n also as usual too,woke up late n rch sch slightly late..
hees...enter the clas onlii when teacher wasn't aware of my presence..
hehe...
n2 todae was supposed to have my telephone skills test..
n it was being postponed as we r being released early as teacher have a meeting to attend to..
for once,im soo not relieved for not taking my ca today ouhk?
i was like preparing myself to be calm etc.
when at a last minute evryting was being postponed...
n my dear debab called just now to ask miie out...
i din bring my home clothes to sch as i tot i wun b gg out with hym
due to the quarrel we had the previous night..
but i predicted tis wud happen cos he had been doing this fer quite num of times..haha
unpredictable guy...
as such,went home to chnge n meet hym at vivo at 6pm...
wht an ass..i set the tym n im alte by ONLII 10 mins..haha
i cn't be long or else im sure he'll get mad..
then think of wtchg 17 again or the wolverine...
take us quite some tym...n in the meanwhile we manage to fill our grumbling stomach first...
n then back to cinema to catch the wolverine..
i swear the movie is realii great..maeb im a lil bit too late but for those hu hvn't wtch it just yet...
i would recoommend it to you guys=))
ue wun regret...interesting!!
right...then home...n ASSIGNMENTS??
not one is being done..grr...
bt pnt jekk aku bwk lappy tadi...
kononnyer nak bt assignment uhh..
at last assignments ker maner aku ker maner..
haha!!standard seii leha..
haha!!!
oryt...tmrw??SCHOOL!!!GRR!!
N CANT WAIT FER GFS MEETING ON FRIDAE...N CHALET TOO!!

*ue..im missing ue seii=(..maeb tt's the reason y i txt e tt nyt at 3 when we actualii did talked..hehe..*blushing*..so the paisey...if onlii ue noe how i feels whenever ue said the word..hees..grr...anywae tt was just word frm mouth..nuting much...=)*

2009-05-12T17:59:00.002+08:00

SOO THE MOODY!!
im not sure the reason im moody...
it just comes out of a sudden..grr...
i hate this...maeb just a normal mood swing...
n n n my head is spinning!!uurghx!!
tis is soo bad seii..
n todae was supposed to start school at 8 but skipped 1st class...
which is SW...what's the use of me cuming to school when attendance will not be taken?
ue noe y?BCOS I HAVE NOT YET BOUGHT MY SW TSHIRT..hurhur...
haha...so yeah came fer my 2nd class onwards..
hehe..
at least i did turn up oryt??
haha...
ouhk2...
i've been MISSING someone lately..=(..if onlii he noes tt i do...hais...

Countdown-3 more daes tp my bloody chalet!!haha!!=))

Missing ppl..=(

2009-05-12T00:43:00.001+08:00

Girlfriend n CVSS mates,i miss you guys truck loads!!when will we meet again??GFS Meeting soon aites..MISSING M.A.R.S.H terribly..!!

9,10 & 11 may 2009=))

2009-05-11T19:20:00.004+08:00

090509

great!!a SATURDAY i didn't go out...not even anywhere...believe it or not,im at home on 090509 24/7...hees!really no intention to go out on tt particular dae due to mother's dae n adik's birthday but i got the rong dae fer mother's dae...it is supposed to b 100509 dammit...haha!!but hu cares...bought mom n bro a cake..just a teeny weeny cake...haha..tt was being shared my us four...mom,dad,bro n miie...altho it's just a cake,mom n bro realii do appreciate it especially mom...was soo happy to see her smiling widely...
Sorry mom n bro...i onlii manage to buy ue both a cake...love ue both luhh..hehe

To mom.
A Happy mother's dae...ue have been a great mom...enduring both our nonsense plus2 dad's too..Ue have put us first fer evrytg...ue put aside al ur needs fer us...ue sacrifices evrytg just fer us family...sometimes looking at ue sacrificing things fer us realli touches my heart...ue reallii have undergone all the stress be it financially or emotionally with our family patiently...ue endure evrytg...there's nothing tt i should sae but THANK YOU SOO MUCH IBU FER EVRYTING UE HAD DONE FER US!!WE LOVE UE ALOT!

n to my dear bro
Happy 13th birthday to ue...pls3 dun be naughty,listen to mom n dad...study realii3 hard...dun disappoint ibu n ayah like how i did...ue r the only son in this family...im sure ibu n ayah wahts ue to be a great leader in the future..n me too...n dun make ibu n ayah mad at ue...if ue r nice to them,they will too...rmmbr what ibu said in the msg??i wish ue would be a great bro n son to this family...=))we love ue adik soo verii the much...

*grr...feel like tearing after typing this..hehe..saleha..dun be soo emotional...haha!!*

100908

1 of the other weekend i din go out with frens..haha!!but did went out with aunt,uncle n bro to cp fer a while...the intention was to buy adik birthday present...n realii we did...adik forced me to follow ouhk?or else i dun tink i'll follow...anywae,im rotting too at home..so,i'd rather follow..
n yes we did bought his birthday presents...uncle bought hym a converse shoe fer $109 n adidas t-shirt fer $40!!wth!?he got a realii expensive gift from onlii 1 person..damn hym man!furthermore uncle did bought hym a soccer boot previously(RECENTLY TOO) fer $70 which he can't wear cos it's small...n now wth!?another expensive gift??grr....he's soo lucky i swear...anywae,dat's it fer the weekend...

110908

What do ue expect me to go on monday?SCHOOL!damn!school starts at 10 n yet im late...haha..hu bloody cares...at least i did turn up fer it..wakaka!ouh yar...woke up at 3am just now n check on my phone but there isn't any calls=(..sedih kaper...been waking up at 3 or 4 lately...err..m i missing somebody??aarghx!!!no!!please say no!!tsk....im trying to forget hym!!!no3!!='(..but2 i want hym to cal..i miss hym...wth!?as i've said to itah love when otw hm just now,im trying to concentrate onlii on my dear debab...cos there is no bloody wae will my love fer tht someone will be returned...it's a one-sided love=(..but im still lovg hym..grr...right..dun wish too be emo again=))..N DEBAB DID CALLED JUST NOW!!!WEE!!!hopefully it's not temporary again..it owaes is ouhk??hehe..

i wonder what's all this for?

2009-05-09T18:02:00.003+08:00

hym:I dun care.All i noe is tt i have given ue chance a few daes ago n ue blew it again.I dun care!kau pompuan tk bergune!jgn cntct aku lagy.budak2 nyer chalet,aku tknk tgk muke kau!!I promise I will make ue suffer!1 more msg frm ue,n it's over btwn us.

hym:I will maku ue suffer uhh for not listening to me.1 more msg from ue ,we will breakup.Imean it.jz a few daes ago,bile kiter aek2 semula,ue sae ue will follow the rules.ue wld listen to wt i tell ue to do.aku tau all tt wrds r all al bual kosong.I promise I will make ue suffer.kau msg aku lagi,aku break ngan ko.try me if ue wan.

his rules;dgr ckp dier...

as such yeasterdae went bowling with fellow classmates fer a while...n i was being fuckd upside dwn..i was tere at 445 n i was told to rch hm at 5 or else i can go jahanam with my frens...through this ue would noe tt eventho we r fine fer the past few daes,im still hurt deep inside...i realli dunnoe wht's gg on..even if i cry it wun help miie a sgl ting..

*it hurts toking abt her...dun tink im fine aites...cos im not..still m trying to forget ue..grr...sobs...*

Y must i go through theses pains at once?IM SOO HURT!!='(

THNX NAJIB FER EVRYTG UE HAVE DONE,,I'VE SUFFERED ENUF..N UE R GG TO MAKE MIIE HURT MORE...ANYWAE,IM SORIIE...

2009-05-05T22:34:00.003+08:00

a tag posted by mydear gf iqah..grr...

iqah:itah&leha,korang g tgk la dua orang eh. org giler je tgk crite antu ngn leha!. haha. i duwana watch again,scared!

pntt btol uhh niie pmpn...haha...
i dun care...ue told miie jgn tego is not verii scary ryt?
except fer the sound...haha!
y the hell did ue say tt onii crazy person will watch this typ of movie with miie?
haha!hey...ko tau kann...lau tgk criter seram ngn aku cnfrm takk seram nyer...
hahahaha!!i noe,ue noe,public noe...
haha!!!right..n we have to watch with sha so tt it'll be more 'scarier'
haha...scarier tu aper word english sakk?
muahaha!!
anywae miss gfs soo verii the much..

i was totally disappointed upon hearing all tt...
realii2 my love fer both is just one-sided...
god!wht is happening?sobs...
i look realii fine m i?
hehe...I DID IT!
tell ue before ryt?pretending is the best thing to do..*winks*

when boredom strikes

2009-05-05T17:01:00.001+08:00

grr...i m down with a terrible headache...
*head spinning3*
as such din turn up fer sch...
haha...woke up a lil bit late todae...
hees...
but m bored,i swear...
so,open up my fridge..look fer sumting to eat...
but saw fishballs...haha!!
as im bored,i cooked tom yum..
WOAH!believe it or not,I COOKED...
gfs..if ue reading this post,i cokked babes...
haha!!especially IQAH..
im sure ue will laugh...aku masak luhh seii..
haha,,takk sedap seii..haiyo...
afraid to allow my fam members to eat but hu cares..
need a comment..hehe...
later gg hg fer a while with zura..
to thread her eyebrow..
i need one too..uurghx....
ouhk2...will update soon aye??
anywae2,I MISS MY GUY FREN SOO MUCH!!=(
dammit!n@ ESPECIALLY MY GFS TOO!

2009-05-04T18:09:00.002+08:00

herlow...
been soo emotional these daes..haha!
but cn't deny i still do..hees...

right..i swear today was totally sux...
hees...my dear zura was confident when telling miie tt class starts at 1 todae...
n as usual,i took my tym...wake up quite on tym...have my breakfast when
zura called telling miie tt class strts at 12...
wth!!?it's mrs tahir class..if im late even for 5 minutes,i've to serve detention..
n i swear i dun like detention...
aku da sui2 sak kirekan tym..haha!kononyer nakk on tym uhh kann..
but too bad im late..
so i went to ironed my uniform n out..
no choice but to take 163 to toa payo n cab to sch...
lucky thing im not late ouhk...
waste my money on this bloody cab fare...
grr...dun feel like coming to school actually but pity dear zura n anywae my attendance can be bad too..
haha
overall fun huh...
at least in school i can destress...with all the laughters tt i had...haha..
but still the sight of them is still in my mind...
oh god!pls put them awae..awae from my mind...n i mean awae!!
ue noe what?he just dun love miie n never like miie before..dat's it...
grr....haha!!dun wish too be emotional again...
anywae,did a trial on telephone skills..
it realii makes miie laugh..
how can you talk to a customer by reconfirming their last ic number initial as D for DONKEY?
isn't it rude?we should use country to represent the letter..
haha...anywae it's done...hehe...not a test so who cares...
n then home with itah...
talked to her abt debab n hym...
tell her abt evrytg tt had happened..
so sweet of her tt she can still noe dat i still love tt 'hym'..
anywae love,he wouldn't be mine at all..
he have never had any feelings on miie..
sad right...uurghx...hehe..
oryt...dat's it peepos...
will update abt somethng else soon..
chanchichiow...

ue said ue tt ue n her r just frens..but we wun noe what will happen 1 dae later..i noe the fact tt ue love her soo much..hehe...ue mrh miie when i toked abt her but isn't it the fact?irritating kann?tapii nakk bt aper...at least irritating takk saket ati...i miss my gf soo much='(..can i have hym baq?sobs....

2009-05-03T11:08:00.003+08:00

there's 1001 reasons to this smile...ily n imy boii!

daes had been realii bad...
sometimes i dunnoe wht im doing...
i dun feel like living in this pretentious world...
pretending to be fine all the tym...
pretending im fine..totally fine...
i smiled n i laughed..
seriously there's nuting tt will help miie than pretending...
especially when love matters to miie most...
i tried to open my heart fer debab but i dun tink it works at all...
i woke up evry morning tearin g aver 2 peeps...
2 peeps i shouldn't matter in the world of love...
cos as fer now..now onlii 1 tt mkes my love one-sided...but both..
hina sgtkah kerr aku kat pndngn org?
salah kerr lau ku sygkann org....kdg2 biler pk alek,aku taknk syg saper2..
taknk ader perasaan pon..n at tyms,i feel lyk living in a world alone..
a world where tere is no1 at all..
i'd prefer to be lonely...
DO I DESERVE TO BE TREATED TIS WAE FER THE SINCERE LOVE?
M I SUPPOSE TO GET ALL THESE BULLSHITS EVRYTYM IM IN LOVE?
i wan to shed no more tears tt r soo meaningless..
thnx guys fer evrytg tt ue have done to miie..

2009-04-30T20:33:00.002+08:00

greetings evrybody..=))
school have been great??uhh..sort of...
but a bad dae i should conclude..
my mind wasn't in this world...
it was just somewhere else...
i kept tinking of hym,hym n her...
i mean wth!?ue wouldn't undrstnd this shit aites?
haha!!onlii tt minority would understnd...
lyf is becoming worse as daes past..
kept tinking of all the bullshits tt happen in my lyf...
one after another...
it's just part n parcel of lyf maeb..uuh...
loved n being loved then next hurt..
it's a normal thing isn't it?
sometyms i just wonder whether i deserved all these..maeb...ermm..
anywae,i cn't the picture of them out of my mind...
i swear it hurts...trying to distract myself by mkg myself bz...
but it doesn't werk..cos they owaes came..uurghx!!
n for the another person,i dunnoe whether he is realii sincere..
hais...im not even confident with evrytg now...
im gg to find a wae out...a wae out not to hurt myself again..

zura told miie this "lau ko nakk regain alek syg ko kat dier,ko kene cntct dier.."
should i?y must i owaes be the one hu hv to make the first move..
anywae,i'll try..uurghx..
bad3!

missing my gfs soo much...need them..need the laughter n all...onlii them hu can cheer miie up=))
my dear gfs,we r soo gg to meet up soon aites...

LOVE ISN'T JUST WORDS!LOVE IS ABT FEELINGS!LOVE IS ABT ACCEPTING TT SOMEONE FER HU THEY R!LOVE ISN'T JUST ABOUT HAPPINESS!FIND THE LOVE N APPRECIATE IT TO THE FULLEST..!

a fren of mine told this to miie to just now when toking abt her bf...a sentence tt makes miiie shocked n rather reminds miie somethng..hais..

"aku rela g kat org yg syg aku lebe dr org yg takd perasaan kat aku langsong...sbb biler aku tau dier sygkann aku,aku tau dier akn jager n appreciate ku...n niie akan bt aku lebe sygkann dier.."

erm......................

just fer you...

2009-04-29T20:12:00.002+08:00

Once,on one of the nights
ue had made a big mistake..
to tell miie abt ur feelings...
the night ue make miie smile..
the night ue made me shed tears of joy...
the night when hopes fer ue came...
the 1 minute tt i spared ue...
vanished in just daes or rather weeks..
ue called miie dear,ue called miie syg..
i tot ue meant ur words but it's all meaningless...
when ue look at miie n tell miie tt ue love miie...
it was the moment tt i felt i was being loved...
the moment when i tot i had nvr made a mistake loving ue,
tot ue were sincere n true to your words..
tt was once in my life...
the warm embrace of ur body when ue hug miie was realii different..
the kiss tt ue gave realii made miie loved ue more..
ue r different..
different from the rest tt i knew...
i tot ue realii r...
i tot ue r the one hum will cheer miie up after all the downs tt i had gone thru..
the one tt im searching fer...
ue send sparkles in my eyes...
ue made miie crazy over ue..
ue made miie tink of nuting but ue...
onlii ue...ue made miie tok abt nuting but ue..
ue drive miie crazy...realii crazy..
as daes past,im afraid as im loving ue more..
ue closed the door fer 'hym'..
n ue open it up fer urself..
it wasn't ur fault at all...but ue gave miie hopes...
hopes tt ue noe will be vanished at a later tym..
why must all this happen when im sincere?
ue have the rights fer hum ue want to go to..for whom ue want to love...
love isn't a matter of words...
but it's smethg involving 2 souls...
we r young...young enuf fer us to get in serious rltnship...
or rather too young to think of love...but to miie,it's tym to get serious...
wht's the point of us saying the ILY when ue mean nuting...
unfortunately enuf,ue get the rong girl...
im a girl who will take all this seriously...
altho im young,i dun tink it's a reason fer us to fool arnd with other feelings...
NOW,i knew tt it was all a history...im not meant fer ue..im not one of those hum ue wan...
ue love her...ue like her...
ue mean nuting of your words towrds miie...but I DO!REALII DO!

Dear You,
thx fer entering my lyf altho it was just fer the meantym...ue have treated miie realii well...ue..ue have been a great person to miie...ue..kater2 yg ue pena lemparkann kat i dulu,buang la jao2..anggap tu sumer takk perna ue lafazkann...kiter takk perna adr aper2 perasaan..cumer syg sbg kwn...ue...jgn saketkann ati ppn lagy keas?perit tau ue...sebak ati i tiap kali i fikir psl niie...tiap kali i cuber tok luperkann ue n cuber tok amek the fact,tiap kalii tu i raser sgt2 luhh saket ati..i mrh,i geram kat ue...tak slh ue sbb ue terburu2..walaupun ue terburu2,ue kene pk knaper ue kater tu sumer..naper ue kater tu sumer sdgkan ppn dlm ati ue is someone else...
airmater i tak boleh disamerkann ngn saket ati i..i tak dendam ue n i tak benci ue...i maseh sygkann ue...n i perlukann mase tok luperkann ue...i menyesal bilang ue perasaan i yg ikhlas ngn jujo...silap i tok bilang ue walaupun i i sedar diri i yg sdh berpunya...tp i tau perasaan i n i takk nafikan yg i syg ue sgt2...tp biler syg tu maken mendlm,i terpakser angkat kaki tok kebahagiaan ue...mungkin niie sumer 1 pengajaran bg kiter...ue...tkd aper yg i nak kater pat ue cumer i doakan kebahagiaan ue n maafkann i sbb i da byk sshkann ue...syg i pat ue lom pudar walaupun siket...ue..ue tkmo menyesal dgn aper keputusan ue keas?i syg ue sgt2,i tak akn tglkann sisi ue..takk perna ader niat ponn nakk tglkann ue..ue..i'll be happy to see ue happy...im not gg to touch on this matter ever again...ue...maafkann i sbb sygkann ue..my last word..
(( bie..I love ue soo much tt i need some tym to forget ue..im sorry fer all the troubles tt i've caused..dun tink abt miie aites dear?pergi kat si dia yg ue idam2kann...take evrytg slowly..ue must2 not give up...hurt no1 no more..take miie as the last gerl ue did this to...ue takk pena luput dlm ingatan i walaupun sejenakk...i sygkn ue sgt2...i maseh sygkann ue...i dun want to see ue hurt...i miss you...ur hugs n ur kisses r being missed alot...the wae ue talked,ur laughter,ur jokes n ur evryting is missed by miie...='(..just rmmber im owaes here with ue no matter wht happens...i will owaes be here by ur side...my suppport is with ue owaes...dun trouble urself n cheer up..im soriie fer evrytg tt happens))

Love,
Saleha..

......

2009-04-27T01:46:00.000+08:00

listening to you toking abt her is rather hurtful..
but i won't be that selfish aites..
i would be happy if ue r..
n yar..
dun ue tink im over ue...
no point crying eventho it had been nyts tt i did that..
i noe im not good enuf for ue..
anywae,thnx..uurghx!

N to you,
giving ue the other chance..
please dun make use of it..
i hurt ue,ue hurt miie more..
im gg to open up my heart fer ue baq if possible..
lyk ue,i dun even noe whether ily or not..
cos my door is open fer someone hu wouldn't be mine..
n i m gg to open baq my heart for ue..i'll try..
thx peepos...
zura i noe it is totally disagreeable to open up my heart baq fer hym but wht to do..
ue noe wht i mean..
but im not gonne give up on tt someone...
no regrets at a later tym as ue sae..=))

..these daes...

2009-03-25T22:58:00.003+08:00

yaw wassup??
blog has been dead fer quite some tym aites...
but todae at this moment i just felt lyk blogging...
noe y??
bcos of my chnge n feelngs..

ppl..i hve chnged...alot,i mean...
tears of joy,tears of despair,tears of disappointment cn't be differentiate by all...
im sensitive,superb sensitive,maeb i should...
realii should...im sick of ppl being sensitive to miie...
n i guess it's tym fer miie too...
i dun wan too..
but it comes naturally...
i dun wan to socialise with ppl..im afraid..im phobia...
im sick of all the things happen thruout the week...
it happens in ablink of an eye...
it's rather sick to noe evryting...
im not prepared...
i wonder is tis the tym fer miie to chnge...???
to b bad??worse???
tere's owaes a reason behind evryting...
eversince tt nyt,i was afraid...
i nid a tymout..
i just felt to be alone...
realii i want to...
i dun chnge onlii to ue ppl,my frens...
but it oso applies to najib...
i chnged but he dun wan to sae it out...
i knew my chnge,i realise it all...
i dun want to make mistakes in my lyf ever again...
tt's the truth...
my wish now is to have tym to myself...
for hym as i noe im safe with hym...
even we hav probs,it's just btwn us...n it wun dwell tt long...
my wish,again.is to find a job...
to fill up my space...in order fer miie not to get bored...
lastly,to onlii socialise with ppl hu noes how to APPRECIATE my presence in their lyf...
n tey r my gfs especially zura...
texting ppl,calling ppl is not in my dictionary as fer now...
call miie arrogant n i dun care...
cos ue noe y???
im afraid whtever has happened,happen again...
i love to be alone...im comfortable with the presence of my family now...
i realise tt i hav abandoned them enuf...
n tt when i spend tym with them,they r whom hu understands miie deeply...
especially mom..
he noes im hvg a hard tym altho i reacted normally...
i love her soo much...
i noe im a grownup now n mistakes are not gg to b made again...
a lil wrong word frm anyone's mouth can poison evryone's mind...
n tt is wht im afraid of...
especially to my gfs...
i noe tey noe wht i have xperienced in the past...
to lose frens,close frens...
to cry over them,n to try to get baq with them isn't ez...
i failed...i was let down without miie doing any mistakes...
so do ue tink im being appreciated...
i do now as fer my gfs...i love them lots...
but not fer certain ppl...
i m not the saleha...
n to those hu have hurt n im being too sensitive,my thousand apologies...
i m sux nowadays...

2008-12-14T12:43:00.003+08:00

hey3!
m i suppose to smile or m i suppose to b down?
hais...
it had been a mth since i last updated my blog i realise...
many things have been happening now and then...
too many probs to think abt...
but whtever it is im tryg to face it with patience...
just feel lyk toking abt yesterdae...

as usual,evry sat met boncet lovee..
suppose to mit hym at 4 but im late fer half an hour...
but hu cares..
it is ouhk so long as we mit...
we spend abt 4 hrs together until 830 when we r suppose to meet his frens...
to celebr8 biz n nanee b'dae...
tey hv nvr fail to mke evryone smile..
i love gg out with them lyk how i met my fernvale legacy babies...
this two grp of ppl owaes mke miie smile...
i love them loads!
oops dun forget my lovely cvss gfs...particularly the 5 of them...
thx al!!

btw,yest some1 text miie sayg tt he hav nt yet forget miie...
is it true??
im not sure...
but luking at his msg alone mke miie smile...
but tere is oso my hubby hu make my dae too...
he hav been swit yest...
he talked to miie till 2am cos we missed each ota alot....
thx lovee...
i realii m soriie abt wht happen...

ouhk ppl!gtg!!wil b updatg soon...

2008-11-29T14:34:00.001+08:00

helloooooo!
haha!!finally found a tym to update my blog...
was too lazy to update,i swear..hehe...
i got lots n lots of ting to b updated but i wun b updating all though....
ouhk last 3 daes...i hav told mom abt my rltnship...
it was really hard...i was afraid...
but thx mom cos she accepted the fact..
it was the happiest dae in my lyf..
so to hym..
ue r the first guy tt mom noes abt...
i realii hope you would be the first n the last she wil hear abt..
to mom,thx once again...

N TO ALL MY GF LOVES!!!
C YA TML!IM SURE IT WIL BE EXCITG!

2008-11-15T11:08:00.002+08:00

Heyo!im baq...
haha!
it had been quite some tym since i last updated...
no tym?nahh!!lazy dat'all..
hehe..
odae find a tym to do so though...
SHASHA!IM STILL HERE!!!haha!

yesterdae had been a mixture of awful n awesome prom nyt...
firstly,came to school late but who bloody cares...
hehe....
register fer our table num...n YES!IM STARVING!
so,while waiting fer kalyisah to arrive,i ate the cream puffs n mini cupcake..
it was awesome...
seriously i look damn horrible when im hungry,i admit..
hees...
then,wenta to the the hall to start our grad nyt...
we kicked off with the speech frm our dear principal*yawn*
then a performance frm miss ang.mr lee n i dunnoe wht is the other teacher's name...
it's sweet though awful when mr lee sing...haha!
the some bulshit performances n FOOOOOD!!
woohoo!a tym we r waitg fer...
n yeah!
i hv started tolost my voice due to the screams yest...
n i injured my leg while dancing...
someone stepped on my feet n it bleeds...
i onlii realise tt it bleeds when i reach home..
bcos i cont dancg though i get myself injured...
seriously,thx to the organisers fer all the fun...
it wasn't ez ouhk...
gonna mis sec sch n mates...
sobs!sobs!
luckily we din end up with a teary moment...
we dun dare to hug each other...
cos it wil send tears...sighx..
we smiled n cahtted lyk it's lyk our world yest...
i m soo gg to miss them..
*pics up soon i guess*

gg out with debab n frens to ecp later...
maeb wun b home til tml soo dun tink will b updating todae...

2008-11-10T14:30:00.002+08:00

it had been quite some tym since i last updated my blog...
i admit it wasn't bcos of miie not hvg some tym...
i swear i still hav some spare tym to post somethg...
but laziness r all arnd miie...
hees!!
since last week,i have been a good girl 2wards debab...
followed wht he said..
dun realii go out..
in a wekk,i onlii go out in 2 daes...
miracle ryt...
i din even slack...
i dun want to quarrel with hym...i admit...
i m loving hym more now...
seriously...
i hope he do appreciate it keas debab...
ts week i onlii can go out fer two daes excluding my prom nyt...
i am mkg use of it ouhk...
im missg hym alot...
although im rottg,im ouhk with it...
hehe...
n tis is wht i wana tell all

i Am soo going to throw awae my uniform tml..
woohoo!!!

2008-11-06T08:50:00.002+08:00

bad terms again with hym...
hais...
seriously i'll be rottg at home fer these 3 daes...
i am sure...
if tat is wht ue want...
i can't bring out hte past,can i?
rmmbr our promises n rmmbr my promises...
cos i will stick to it n i wun forget it...

to my dearest loves,
i am not sure abt 29 yet...
erm..wanting to asl hym but i can't..
never get a chance to..
not in bloody good terms with hym...
hais...
but if ue guys take 29 i wun b miting hym for lyk a week bcos of hys camp...
gurls..i realii hope ue culd chnge the date...
mae 30th if possible..
seriously it's hard..
ireally wants to join ue guys...
i am fucked up now...
hais...benn hvg hard tyms...
my thousand apologies...
if ue do read tis post pls update miie aites..
im sory fer all the troubles...
i hav created..

2008-11-05T01:34:00.002+08:00

smile,laugh then cry...
hais...
tat is wat hav been happening to miie...
todae wenta job interview with zura love..
suppose to b tere at 230 but we came earlier...
which is absolutely good...
sice we r at tamp,i rmmbred iqah love...
i rmmbrd her tellg us to cal her up if we're at tamp...
so i did...
see i rmmbr ue tau..haha!!
wenta eat at ljs...
n i m soo not gg to sae anytg abt ljs...
haha!!i hope the both of 'em wun post it up...
haha!!secret2...
then make our wae home sice iqah was tired n zura n miie went to slack...
so yar,we slack till lyk 10..
niari kiter alek sing luhh..
haha!!

so,went home n cal debab...
he was just being sarcastic..
he said he wants miie to listen to wht he said...
i did...
it's my mistake to owaes go out but i din forget hym...
he accused miie anyhow..
n judge miie just lyk dat...
he said tt when we break,he sure tt i wil get a replcement in a week...
see how rong he judge miie...
n in the first plce i realiii wish hym to b my last guy...
i realii ove hym,i swear!!

he hng up the phne without even listeng to my xplanation,
n accused miie anyhow...
i might sound despo but im not...
i just love hym alot n i dun wish to lose hym..
it's not lyk we've been together a mth or 2 tt i can ezly let hym go..
hais..
it's been 19 mths...
it's not a short period of tym...
n id o love hym wholeheartedly...

2008-11-03T00:30:00.002+08:00

heloo everybody...

yar evryting had been gg well now,i guess...

erm...

hais...it's hard to predict moii own feelings...

unpredictable gal,dat's wht ppl tend to call miie...

todae wenta meet debab at 2 at vivo...

yar he was supposed to be at hm since he hav to get baq to camp tonyt...

but since he said it was fine,i just go..

im not rushg but he did...

cian boncet aku yg satu tuu...

rindu dier banget2...

yar...then wenta mit iqah love at cp at 640...

sory love cos aku umper ko lmbt..

niie boncet last minute...

we chatted till 9 n im off to fernvale...

meet my babies...

yar,it was of great fun...

and yar...

i managed to smile n laugh...

im baq...

partially miie though...

erm..BUT IM HAPY WITH DEBAB!

although there's owaes misunderstandings btwn us...

to zura dear...

love hym,tell hym...

tell ue something keas...

realii hapie fer ue both...(big smile)

take care of each otha ehk krg...

keas uhh...

im off to sleep now...

I DAMN MISS MY DEBAB!!

my thousand apologies

2008-10-30T00:36:00.003+08:00

tis post is dedicated to my dear...

my dearly lovely close fren...

ue noe i really hope ue really tis post...

we had not been close these daes...

it's hard...for miie...

whenever i look at ue,i owaes tink of someone...

i guess ue noe who...

i noe,ue noe...

dear,i onlii want ue to noe that it's been tough fer miie...

i love ue alot...

ue noe i dun want tis to cont...

realii...

i want us to be baq as per normal..

i noe it's my fault...

ue noe now im convincing myself abt tt ting...

daes had been dark..

aku syg ko...

aku terlalu byk benda pat otak...

aku nakk buang jao2...

aku sensitive n sedih...

sometyms when i cntct ue,kdg2 ssh aku nak dpt rply..

maeb ur hp is faulty...

but aku teraser...

sbb aku cube nak adapt to my lyf now...

aku syg ko n aku rindu ko...

maafkan aku...

aku byk saketkann ati ko...

sory love...

specially for that someone...

i miss callg ue n i swear i mis al of ue...

as in the chats n laughters...

i owaes tot that tis is a big chnge...

ue once did cal me morn,aft n nyt...

we owaes shared our ups n downs...

i hate for whtever i've done...

once,i get all ur responds fer calls n sms soo fast...

but now evryting chnge...

sometimes i just tink of it...

i cried day n nyt bcos of tis...

silently n lonely...

yar...daes have been hard...

im sory over wht i've told you...

i noe it was a mistake to tell ue tnot to cntct miie...

but i tot tt was a wae out fer i cn forget ue...

but i can't...

im sory ...

really sory...

i dun mean tis to happen...

but evrytg chnge drastically...

i want evryting to b as per norm...

evry morning n nyt i wil tink abt ue...

tink abt y we r apart...

n yar...

it was my fault...

if ue have a chance to read ts,

im takg tis opportunity

to apologise to ue..

im deeply soriie...

i miss you...

seriously...

im sory over what i've said...

i owaes find fault...

but lyf has been tough...

i hate it!!

DEARS,IM SORIIE...

REALLY SORIIE...

I LOVE UE GUYS SOO MUCH...

ZURA LOVE,MY THOUSAND APOLOGIES...

I NOE UE UNDERSTAND MIIE...

I MISS N LOVE YOU SOO MUCH,I SWEAR...

IT WASN'T EASY...

I DUN WANT US TO BE LYK TIS...

I LOVE UE BABY...

I DUN WISH TO LOSE A FREN LYK UE...

I HURT UE LOTS...

TSK!TSK!

2008-10-28T14:17:00.000+08:00

I WILL NEVER SAY GOODBYE...

MUST I????

TSK! TSK!

2008-10-28T01:38:00.000+08:00

it's lyk oready 138 am...

but i still can't get my sleep to sleep..

haiyo!!

ouhk...

noe wht...i hav got enuf...

i dun want to hear a single ting...

seriously...

not even 1 ting tt gonna hurts miie...

uhh...

n yar...

DEBAB LOVE I MISH UE LUHH!!!I MISH UE LOADS!!

2008-10-27T23:13:00.000+08:00

y is all my post is not at the correct tym tt i post it...

yupp..

so now,i guess.i hav to put up the tym tt i update all my blogs..haha!

11.14pm

tis is wht i wana tell ouhk..

i want myself baq...

im still emo-ing...

i dun want to...

pls bring the saleha baq...sobs...

realii....

i dun want tis continue...

ouh yar..

abt todae outing...

i wil b updatg soon.

hais...

m i being too sensitive...

yar..i do over a reason...

pls god...

bring myself baq..

i hate tis,i swear...

2008-10-27T13:54:00.000+08:00

BORED!STRESS!!

aarghx!

fucked up...yesterdae got a good talk with debab aka boncet love...

he told miie he was sory fer he accused miie abt sumtg...

yar..i did forgive hym..lyk duhh...

n he told miie tt i can go slackg n go out thru frm mon to fri...

but with a condition tt...

NO1 SHOULD CNTCT MIIE WHEN IM WITH HYM ON THE SATURDAYS...

i agreed...

so ppl im sory...if ue read ts post,i seek fer ur kind undrstndg...

im so3 sory..

n todae when i told hym im gg out to cp with iqa all..

he went berserk....

wtf?!

he told miie i can go out sial...

haiyo!!!

but whtever it is...

gg to meet al my loves at 3 at cp..

so yar..wil update soon...

2008-10-26T23:27:00.000+08:00

tsk!tsk!

hais..todae was so bad...

wen to kuzzie b'dae party at pgl..

was great cos my unle happened to tel evry1 tt my b'dae was also near to hers..

n yar..got $$$...

while eating,zura love text miie n ask whether i want to tag along to vivo..

with whO??mursyid,bis n ayil...

i wasn't sure but i still did went...

haha!!asked hubby boncet to tag but he doesn't want to...hais...

he told miie to just stay at my aunt's plce...

so as usual,hav to lie...

it doesn't turn out to b well..

emo....all the wae...bcos of hym..

damn shit..but stil manage to smile n laugh...

tere's sumting else tt pokes my heart too..bt i try to ignore...hais...

ouh well wenta vivo accompany love to bu her watch...then went fer a break..

n home...

yar..home...need home badly...

want to cry my heart out...sobs...

2008-10-26T01:16:00.000+08:00

M I REAL?

M I REALII FALLING IN LOVE?

TELL MIIE IM NOT COS I DUN WANT TO...

IM SICK...SICK OF CRYG...

SICK OF HEARTPAINS!!

SICK OF EVRYTG...

I WANT NUTING LYK TIS ANYMORE...

I HAV GOT ENUF OF PRETENDS...

I WANT TO DRY MY TEARS...

OH GOD!!!

LEAVE MY MIND IN PEACE..

LET MIIE TINK ONLII ABT MY RLTNSHIP,BONCET N EXAM FER NOW!!

NUTG MORE TT CAN DISTRACT MIIE...

UE NOE IT'S EASY FER US TO SAE TT TIS TYP OF TING IS JUST A SMAL MATTER..

BUT SIMPLY CAN'T..

I SWEAR I TRIED...

IM REALLY3 SORY..

SALEHA!!

UE ONLII LOVE NAJIB MIND YOU!!!

PLEASE...

STOP DOING TIS TO URSELF...

2008-10-25T23:30:00.000+08:00

wassup all??

haha!!just feel lyk greeting evry1 tis wae...

yar...todae wenta mit huby boncet again...

to vivo tis tym round...

n wenta watch hsm3 again...

serious it's awesome...damn!!haha..

now,hav to wait fer anotha week til we can meet again..

hais...

sad ryt...

haiyo!!!aku mls uhh nak emo2...

but deep down onlii god noes..

sum1 giv miie the courage to move on...

she gave miie al the advise...

she went thru wht i went thru...

n i rmmbered sumting she said,

"kiter da menjadi kepunyaan org...kter da ader mataer masing2"

sumting lyk tat uhh...thx..

at least it gives miie support...

haha!!!though it's tough..

but who cares...?

i care...haha!!!

Something hurts without miie noeing...laughed to control my tears...wanted to cry but control it...i succeeded ouhk?haha!

N again i mis my boncet loads ouhk?...hais...

random b'dae pics

2008-10-25T13:53:00.000+08:00

yoohoo!!

yar..i noe it had past 3 daes since i celebrated my b'dae...

as ue noe,i hav been emo-ing..

so not in the mood to put tis up..

but now...i do...woohoo!!

no point cryg ryt haziqqie??

haha!!!

she sae tat im big enuf not to cry...

yar..true enuf...

ouhk2...baq to my b'dae party on the 22nd...

firstly went to simei with zura love n adk to service zura phne...

we did reached tere abt 5 m i ryt??

luckily it dun take as long fer our q number to b called up...

haha!!!

we laughed al the wae i swear..

adk kip bullying miie...

al the pics tt prove he did is with zura love...

haha!!

since we r starving too at tt pt of tym,we wenta to eat at kfc..

tat was when i received a msg frm aie...

sayg tt 'bt b'dae party tak blng org'

not exactly wht he said though but sumtg lyk tt...

so i blurred..i asked zura n adk but tey just smile n sae mepek...

y shuld i hide if i make a party ryt..haiyo!!

i just shut up n cont with the dae...

wenta tamp to buy hamster food n ibu 'cili jeruk'..

adk call it cili beruk..hahahahaha!!

he cn't stop mkg miie laugh...

ouh yar tat was wer we met my bro,ayil...

ouhk..at tt point of tym perangai kter da mcm monyet...

haha!!n i kept sayg to zura n adk

"behave luhh...kn ader abg"haha!!

n luk at ayil..he laughed...

woohoo!!

n so we went home...ibu da bising takk smpi2 uma...

she said sum1 want to take the noodle tt she fry earlier..

m so i was rushg..

but zura said tt she want to buy bubble tea at cp n ayil was hungry..

i followed n told them to take cab to my plce since they wana slack tere...

but tey dun allow..mati2 uro aku naek lrt...

n so i followed too...dah tu uro aku trn pat layar instead of fernvale..

aper niee??haha!!

when i reach home..it was al well lit n my dining table was full of food..

i asked ibu wat's al ts abt but she sae sum1 ordered the food...

tap pelik kann...

haha!!!she then told me to open up my adk room to take sumtg...

n when i open al my fernvale babies were inside n tey sang b'dae song...

i was shcked,screamed n felt lyk cryg...

ouh yar..itah was tere too..

but she hid in the kitchen...

i realii waas touched with whteva tey did...

THX MY FERNVALE BABIES,ITAH N AYIL...IT'S MY EVER MEMORABLE B'DAE PARTY EVER!

N TO ZURA LOVE..THX FER EVRYTING...

TERE'S NUTING TT I CAN SAE BUT THANK YOU SOO MUCH!!ILY LUHH!!HEES!

n yar,i got a zen creative frm aunty n uncles n a skirt tt i love frm itah n zura love..

n i love my b'dae cake...woohoo!!

2008-10-25T11:57:00.000+08:00

i once woke up

looking at my phne...

someone leavg miie a msg...

askg me to call...

sayg good morng msg..

when we chat,tere's not as single second when we r silent...

there's no tym when we r serious...

we never fail to update each other of our lifes...

we ask fer opinion...

we tell about whom we love...

we share secrets..

we build a story between us...

we end with a history...

it has not end particularly...

but i hav regarded it as an end...

i did it so i have to face it...

it hurts but who cares...

i smiled n i cried...

i did evryting tt can make me happie...

probs r put asyd but it stil sticks in my mind and heart...

when evryting turns to b tis wae,onlii tears can accompany miie...

I LOVE HER N I LOVE HYM!!

n i swear i want to see them happy...

todae,i woke up evry hour..

luking at my phne...

tere's no msg frm any1...

it feels awkward...

hubby wil b asleep til afternoon...

hais!

but will b mitg hym later in the afternoon...

today i woke up realising tt tere r tears in my eyes...

i dunnoe y...

hais...

i hav been emo-ing these daes...

im really sory 2 al...

i wish i can sleep n never wake up

if it means tt i wil onlii get ue in my dreams...

IM REALLY SORY 2 MY DEARS!

2008-10-25T01:56:00.000+08:00

I JUST COULDN'T HELP IT...

I KEPT TELLING TIS TO MYSELF...

AGAIN N AGAIN...

BUT IT DOESN'T WORK!!

I M GOING TO FORCE MYSELF TO TELL THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD,

I ONLII LOVE MY BONCET...

OH GOD!!PLS LEAVE MY MIND ON EASE...

I JUST COULDN'T BEAR WITH IT..

IT HURTS..

PLS HELP MIIE...

TAKE EVRYTING TT IS NOT NECESSARY ON MY MIND AWAE...

N I MEAN IT!!

I DAMN HATE TIS...

IT BOTHERS MIIE...

I WANT TO PRETEND NO MORE...

I WANT TO SMILE N LAUGH LYK I OWAES DO...

WITH THE FACT TT IM TERRIBLY FINE

N HAPPY WITH MY LYF...PLS..

2008-10-25T00:59:00.000+08:00

yoohoo!!

greetings to all readers...

wer shuld i start??

yar...went out with boncet just now to dhoby ghaut...

walked n shared lots of stuffs...

yar..we hav not been meeting fer lyk a week..

last weekend was not a privacy meeting...

i mean a date since we went raya-ing with his frens...

so yar..get to meet hym todae...

lucky he got a half dae...book out frm his camp at 12...

haha!!rmmbred tat he wanted to catch HSM3 when he booked out on the 24th...

which falls today...

we did..lyk duhh...

it's my treat though....

it was alwaes hym hu treated miie so it's my turn...

HSM3 was great....

both of us love the choreography...it was awesome...

really...but the movie is too much of songs...

but really catch it...

fer us,it's superb...

wun elaborate more...

something hurts miie todae...

but i got to get over it...

yar...stupid bitch luhh miie!!

shit miie!!

i can't forgive myself for evryting...

I LOVE MY HUBBY BONCET OWAES!!

HEARTS ONLII HIM!!

HYM ONLII IN MY HEART!!!!!!!YAR!!HYM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AARGHX!!

in love

2008-10-24T12:21:00.000+08:00

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house

That don’t bother me

I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out

I’m not afraid to cry, every once, in a while

Even though, going on, with you gone, still upsets me

There are days, every now and again I pretend I’m ok

But that’s not what gets me

What hurts the most

Was being so close

And having so much to say

And watching you walk away

And never knowing

What could have been

And not seeing that loving you

Is what I was tryin’ to do

It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go

But I’m doin’ It

It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I’m alone

Still HarderGetting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret

But I know if I could do it over

I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart

That I left unspoken

What hurts the most

Is being so close

And having so much to say

And watching you walk away

And never knowingWhat could have been

And not seeing that loving you

Is what I was trying to do

What hurts the most

Is being so close

And having so much to say

And watching you walk away

And never knowing

What could have been

And not seeing that loving youIs what I was trying to do

Not seeing that loving you

That’s what I was trying to do

I HAVE LONG FALLEN IN LOVE WITH THIS SONG...

I DAMN LOVE THE LYRICS...

IT SENDS TEARS STREAMING DOWN MY CHEEK...

IQAH..AKU TAKLEY STOP UHH...

AKU SEDIH...

my thousand apologies

2008-10-23T01:16:00.000+08:00

i noe ue wun read tis blog....
n so i'll post it up...
i wun sae it out to any1...
just fell lyk pouring out my feeling here...

izinkan aku pgl ko syg bt skali dn yg terakhir...
maafkan aku syg...
silapku tok syg ko...
tak perlu dlater tp sdh ternyata ko tiada perasaan syg..
aku benci diri aku kerana menyayangimu...
relakan aku pergi...
aku tak akn cntct ko lagy..
hny skali skaler...
terima kaseh atas segalernyer...
jgn luhh ko risau sbb aku janji aku tak akn syg ko...
n aku raser teramat2 berslh...
aku cumer nak lng ko yg sygku maken kuat...
maafkan aku...
relakan aku pergi...
mengertiluhh sygku...
keraner antare kter tdk akn menjadi aper2...
aku tak akn bersedih...
skalipun ko nmpk airmata bercucuran...
itu airmata tanda kegembiraan buatmu..
maafkan aku...
aku takk sangka aku akn jad mcm niie...
aku dusta cinta seseorg...
maafkan kau lau ku perlukan maser tok lari dr perasaan niie...
aku da simpan lamer tp tk dpt diselindung lagy...
maafkan aku...
jga diri ko aek2 keas...
n yar...
wana tell ue sumtg...
IM OWAES HERE FER UE TO COUNT ON!!

pls forgive miie...

ue hav been a great fren n bro...

thx fer evryting..

n i wun forget a single ting...

n i wun forgive myself for al tis shit...

i hate myself...

tc of her...

n to her,tc of hym...

i wun b as close to hym anymore..

thx fer evryting...

leave miie alone..

bt rmmber im owaes here fer ue...

goodbye!!!

(i dun lyk these tears)

n yar,thx to al my babies n dears fer al tt ue hav done fer miie...

it;s a surprise though...

but i'll put in heart n mind...

thx all..

ilysm...

n to my dear zura,thx fer al the evryting...

ily...takkaires...

SALEHA ONLII LOVE BONCET!!WOOHOO!!

BONCET ALONE!!YES...HIM!

I WIL TYP TIS IN EVRY POST!!

IRRITATED?THEN FUCK OFF!!

specially fer ROHAISHAH!

2008-10-22T01:27:00.000+08:00

PPL 1 MORE DAE TO GO TO 23RD OCTOBER...HAHA!

to one my fren hu pretend to forget,

rohaishah...

im reminding ue...

haha!!!

jgn step takk ingat ehk...

nie post khas tok ko..

da luhh bt kecoh pat blog org...

haha!!

kter niie mmg sial uhh...

ko uhh mengaja aku..

btw,

akulah lin pat haslinda nyerr blog

akulah org terbng sana sini pat zura nyer blog...

haha!!

aku mendak uhh serious2 sgt...

da luhh ku tgh stress..

bt keje2 bodo mcm niie cheer aku up tau...

haha!!!

2008-10-21T19:54:00.000+08:00

Emo lagy ehk aku...
idop aku lum sng lagy oii...
haha!!!
erm...it's realii sad..
i hav been holding baq my tears...
im hurt bcos of my boncet...
he hav been ignoring miie these daes...
i was told tt i've done alot of mistakes towards hym...
realii....now while blogging,i cried...
yar iqah...im oready near 17...
i shouldn't be sad..
but it hurts realii...
btw,im not gg to b angry to any1...
if ue get hym,takkaire if hym cos i cn't...
love hym n take hym...
jage dier aek2...
dier da takk perlukann lagy...
ouhk..realii..cn't typ again...
tears cn't stop rolling...tsk!tsk!

o level english is fine though...but i dunnoe...
my mind is not on the paper...
yeah...i got to smile todae...
does it look fake?nopes!
bcos im 'happy'...smile baby...
dun wory abt miie...
i'll handle my ownself..
he's not n never b mine...
lotsa loves...
i hold no grudge...bcos miie n hym wil just b bro n sis...

I am going to tell the whole world tat

I ONLII LOVE MY BONCET!!IM TELLING MYSELF TAT OUHK?ONLII HYM..TRUST MIIE...

emo...out of sadness...

2008-10-21T11:43:00.001+08:00

For once,i'l blog at an emo state..hais...
cn't stand it ouhk...
maeb at tyms we just need to sacrifice alot of tings fer love...
i noe im stil young..n i hav a long wae to go...
but yar,as ppl saes gurls tinkingwise r usually matured than their age...
ue noe it's definitely not easy to let go of ppl hum ue love...
it's hard to face al tis...
ue r loved,hate n dumped then...terrible....
in the first im not yet prepared...
maeb im stupid...to follow wat he say...
but come on wud ue guys do anyting fer the love ones...
it's really saddening when situation lyk tis happens...
if onlii he reads tis blog....
im not disappointg him..but he does...
i thank him fer telling miie honestly tat he hav yet hate miie...
n i hate it tat we owaes tend to face tis typ of situation when it's near to 23rd...
m i cryg crocodile tears?im not!!mind you!!
I SIMPLY HATE BEING LEFT...
I HATE FER I WILL LOSE SOME1...
I HATE FER AL MY CLOSE ONES R LEAVG...
N IT'S AL FER A REASON...
IF ONLII HE NOES.....................SOBS...

hais...

2008-10-20T23:42:00.000+08:00

a random convo...sad...

S: Im sory md najib n thx fer evryting..pls rply my msg..
N:tat kind of msg nak reply aper.jgn nk ckp sori ah.i had enuf of ur crocodile tears.kip doing the same fuckg shit.
S: thx md najib n sory fer evryting..i mean it....pls..i love ue soo much...
N:dun sae ue mean it.i kasi muker,ue step on it.4 2dae,i reali hate you 4 wat ue do to mie..
S:i love ue alot.............
N: ful of shit.stop wasting my tym.i wan to sleep.nite.

is tis wat love al about?tell miie guys..im realii feeling so down...
sobs...craps,i noe..nut just pouring out my feelings..

random

2008-10-20T18:24:00.000+08:00

AT TYMS WE JUST NEED TO LET GO THOSE HU WE LOVE FOR GOOD...

Aarghx!!chem paper realii sucks...gona fail..no faith...so terrible..i want to cry out not onlii of the paper but evryting...i realii need to cry..

i hate loving any1...i want to love nobody can i?once i love,it's hard to let go...realii sucky...sobs!sobs!